Some Windsor-Essex seniors feel less lonely a year into the pandemic, hopeful for the future

Though it's been an isolating and lonely year for seniors in Windsor-Essex, some are hopeful for the future and say they can see the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

While they eagerly wait until they get vaccinated, Amherstburg residents Jim Kenny, 67, and Carol Ball, 70, say they are looking forward to their lives post-pandemic when they can reconnect with their loved ones in-person. 

Kenny lives alone but that's never bothered him until the pandemic struck. 

He used to keep himself busy working as a maintenance planner, but the pandemic stopped him from working and seeing his friends and family.

"It's not a position I like. It's an adjustment I had to make. I had to deal with it," he said. "I had to stay alive, survive."

Kenny said his fear of contracting COVID-19 nearly resulted in paranoia and he noticed he was no longer his usual happy self.

Kathy DiBartolomeo, executive director of Amherstburg Community Services (ACS), also noticed this with other seniors when she delivered porch gifts as part of a program the organization offers.

She said she could "see firsthand the look on their faces and how much they've actually changed ... They're so desperate to get out and see their grandchildren, come back to organizations like ours and sit and have lunch with friends."

"It's really sad to see that look of loneliness and despair and wanting to just really reach out and reconnect again," she said.

Kenny said he's been staying in touch with his children and grandkids virtually, but it's not the same as seeing them in-person and hugging them. He said it's been challenging not being able to go out and visit friends for a year now.

When Kenny found himself needing to talk to someone, he gave ACS's chat line a try — a service it launched during the pandemic to help seniors combat loneliness and connect with the community.

Soon enough, Kenny joined regularly, chatting with other local seniors over the phone every Tuesday and Thursday morning for half an hour.

"I guarantee you that 30 minutes is over in the blink of an eye," he said, adding that he enjoys listening to everyone's stories and even developed some friendships.

"Everybody has a story and I love the stories that people tell me. It doesn't matter who they are," he said.

Like Kenny, Ball also frequently phoned in, speaking with other seniors in the community as a way to socialize during a very isolating time.

'As soon as we can get vaccinated, the better'

She said the pandemic has been frustrating for her because she's been looking forward to travelling and meeting up with friends, but is left scared to do anything because of COVID-19.

"My youngest son is getting married in July ... but he lives in Calgary, so I'm afraid to get on a plane until I get vaccinated. So that's the first thing I want to do," she said.

"People are really tired of being pent up and they're getting more lax. And I'm just afraid ... They said we're in the third wave. So that's a little bit scary. So as soon as we can get vaccinated, the better."

Kenny agrees, saying "immunization is rolling out, as disjointed as it might seem in the beginning ... it is happening. It's rolling out."

He said he will patiently wait until it's his turn to get vaccinated.

"The more people that get it, the more we're pushing back the risk of contaminating people," he said.

'Reach out to your neighbours,' says therapist

As Kenny and Ball continue to wait, they said they'll turn to the hobbies they've picked up in recent months to keep them busy. 

Ball said she learned how to crochet and Kenny said he enrolled in online classes and has been "ship spotting" where he keeps a log of the boats that go up and down the Detroit River.

These initiatives all fall in line with what Ewelina Horochowik, a therapist and mental health educator with the Canadian Mental Health Association Windsor-Essex, urges people to do.

She said she's noticed older clients raise concerns about the quality and quantity of their social relationships, adding that social isolation has a negative impact on a person's mental and physical health.

Horochowik said the pandemic has "highlighted the gaps of our community and places where we can definitely improve."

"It kind of exacerbates the problem for an individual who maybe finds himself in that certain population where ... they're worried more about their health or their frailty ... and how that impacts their relationship with others," she said.

When people say, 'oh, it's still dull and dark outside,' the sun shines every day, sometimes you've got to go over the clouds to see it. So this is just a cloud that we're going to get passed and the sun will shine again.- Jim Kenny, 67

Horochowik said it can be beneficial for people to reach out and connect with someone they know who is feeling lonely and isolated.

"That's really important on a community level, interacting with people in the community in any way, shape or form, even if you go for a walk. Checking in on your neighbours, on how they're doing. And also maybe even doing things creatively, like a book exchange," she said.

She also said she's noticed a sense of hopefulness among her clients that "things will change to get better."

"What I'm hearing is kind of a transition period between seeing the end of the tunnel ... especially with individuals who have been able to get vaccinated and knowing that they're doing what they need to be doing to get to the end of the tunnel," she said.

Kenny also said he's looking to the future with hope. 

"I'm totally optimistic. I really am a very positive, forward-thinking person. I hate doom and gloom," he said.

"When people say, 'oh, it's still dull and dark outside,' the sun shines every day, sometimes you've got to go over the clouds to see it. So this is just a cloud that we're going to get passed and the sun will shine again."