Sask. woman has message of hope after living with HIV for 15 years

After being married for nearly 40 years, testing positive for HIV was the last thing Gloria Tremblay expected.

Tremblay, who was living in rural Saskatchewan at the time, said she began seeing a man about a year and a half after her husband died. CBC has decided not to publish the man's name for privacy reasons.

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As the relationship progressed, they decided to have sex.

Tremblay, now 75, said she became "violently sick" about seven months later, which was odd for her.

"Other than getting the odd cold and the odd little ailment, I've never been sick in my life," she told CBC Radio's Saskatchewan Weekend.

She visited several doctors but wasn't tested for HIV, saying it may have been because she doesn't fit the stereotype of a person with the virus.

When he told me that I was HIV-positive I felt like he had hit my head with a sledgehammer.- Gloria Tremblay

One day she went to a clinic in her hometown. She said a doctor at the clinic recognized her partner, who was supportive throughout the process and took her to many of her appointments.

After asking Tremblay how she knew the man, the doctor sent her for a blood test, even though she had already been through several such tests.

"When he told me that I was HIV-positive I felt like he had hit my head with a sledgehammer," she said.

"He already knew. He was just making sure that he was right."

She says the same doctor had diagnosed her partner with HIV about four years earlier.

After the diagnosis

Tremblay confronted her partner, who she was living with at the time, after the diagnosis.

"I asked him, 'Why did you do that to me? I thought you loved me,'" she said.

But he didn't seem to understand the seriousness of HIV.

"He was not a mean person. I'm sure that he didn't want to hurt me," she said. 

"He was the type of guy that if you don't have, let's say, a cast around your head, you can't be sick."

She said her partner was a recovering alcoholic. He told her there were times he would wake up next to a woman he didn't recognize. She believes that's how he was exposed to HIV.

'Within a week, the whole town knew about it'

Living in rural Saskatchewan at the time, Tremblay said she didn't feel like she could talk to anyone.

"Of course I was ashamed of myself," she said. 

She began treatment but it took a toll, and she says it left her in pain most of the time. However, she said the doctors didn't know if that was because of her age, the treatment or a combination of both.

She says eventually people in her community found out about her diagnosis after her partner was diagnosed with a tumour and began drinking again.

"When you're drunk, you tell things that you shouldn't be telling, so he told his drinking buddies," she said.

"Within a week, the whole town knew about it."

In that short time, she says she went from being a very active member of the community to a social pariah.

"All of a sudden, people started not saying 'hi' to me," she said.

Once I was on my feet I thought, 'OK, if I can't die I'm going to live and I'm going to do something with my life, and I'm going to win this battle.'- Gloria Tremblay

She said she wasn't allowed to continue many of her volunteering activities, especially if they involved handling food. A few of her friends stuck around, but most people shunned her. 

At one point, she says she tried to take her own life.

"One day I just couldn't do it anymore," she said. "I'm a very social person and all of a sudden I'm left alone in this small town."

After the attempt, she says she saw the faces of her mom and daughter with tears in their eyes.

"I thought, 'I can't do this. I can't do that to them,'" she said.

"Once I was on my feet I thought, 'OK, if I can't die I'm going to live and I'm going to do something with my life, and I'm going to win this battle.'"

15 years later

Tremblay has now been living with HIV for 15 years. She has become part of a peer-mentorship program at Regina General Hospital.

It matches people who have experienced living with HIV with those who have been recently diagnosed. She has been doing it for six years.

"I'm passionate about it," she said. "I have a lot of stuff to share with people and show them how to live a life."

Tremblay said apart from her diagnosis, she has lived a great life, but she's making the most of her diagnosis.

"I turned that wrong into a positive thing," she said. "It was a negative turned into a positive."

She recommends anyone who has been diagnosed with HIV and needs help get in touch with the peer-support group through Regina General Hospital.