Clear communication can help defuse conflict with angry customers during a stressful shopping season: expert

A social worker in the Waterloo, Ont., region wants to remind people to be kind to local businesses this holiday shopping season, as changing COVID-19 protocols, supply chain issues and labour shortages may be a recipe for conflict.

"Most of us are just trying to do the best we can to get through the day, to get through this pandemic, and so the more we can remember that we're all humans doing the best we can and to be compassionate and kind [the better]," said Thomas Brown, a social worker and co-owner of Qualia Counselling Services (QCS).

QCS offers mental health and counselling services in Waterloo region, Brantford and Ohsweken, in addition to conflict resolution and de-escalation training. 

He said going into a second pandemic holiday — combined with financial problems, family engagements or different views around vaccines — can be stressful.

Not finding what you're looking for due to supply chain issues, waiting in line for long periods of time or forgetting proof of vaccination could be what breaks the camel's back, Brown said.

"It's sort of one more thing added on top of an already stressful time that would cause people to get upset and maybe get a little belligerent or even a little aggressive," he said.

So what can employees do?

Brown offered some skills that employees can keep in their back pocket should a conflict arise. The first thing is to take a deep breath, he said.

"It can be really helpful to take a breath and get ourselves first in a place where we can handle this with our brains fully turned on and not functioning from emotion," he said.

Brown said employees can also let the customer know they have been heard. That acknowledgement can help bring people back down and move onto solving the issue. 

Brown said it's important for employees to remember that it's OK to be assertive and establish boundaries with customers who cross a line.

"Assertive communication is just being clear and forward, concise in what we need and what we want," he said. "Something like, 'I want to help you, but it's not OK that you're yelling at me.'"

Brown said authorities should be called if de-escalating the situation is not working and "certainly if it's moving to physical threats or aggression."

Businesses feeling the brunt

Business owners such as Lauren Kirk in Cambridge and Rufus Cavan in Kitchener are all too familiar with those kinds of situations.

Kirk, who owns the clothing store The Patch, said mask-wearing has been an ongoing issue for her business and she's noticed that customers have become more relaxed about putting on their masks.

"Sometimes our customers will get 10 feet in the door before they start pulling their mask out of their pocket." she said.

Kirk said her employees also deal with customers who don't want to wear a mask. In those situations, they ask the individual to leave. Sometimes it goes smoothly, sometimes it doesn't, she said. 

"We try not to escalate the situation as much as possible because, unfortunately, a lot of the anti-maskers that come in tend to look for a confrontation."

Cavan said his business, Cavan Coffee in Kitchener and Guelph, has dealt with customers who want to eat at the café but don't have proof of vaccination.

"They always seem to blame us for it, [when] it's a mandate that's from our province, and it's hard to bridge that gap of understanding where people think it's something we're doing to them," he said.

Ultimately, Brown said, customers need to remember that employees and businesses are trying their best and "outcomes are better when people are kind and compassionate to one another."