Edmonton dads camp in winter weather to raise money for hospital that tried to save their kids
'Brendan, while we lost him, lived almost nine years because of the Stollery'
Two Edmonton men became friends under circumstances they hope other parents never have to experience: grieving the death of a child.
"I'm sorry we have to have this kinship," Peter Burgess told Gibson Glavin on Saturday at Rainbow Valley Campground in Edmonton.
For the second year in a row, Burgess will spend a week sleeping outside in the cold to raise money for the Stollery Children's Hospital. This time around, he'll have some company.
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"The Stollery is really important to us both," said Glavin, who will join the camp out for one night. "It might seem odd to some people since both our children died in the Stollery, but it didn't have anything to do with the Stollery not being amazing and not doing extraordinary things to keep them alive."
Brendan
Glavin's son, Brendan, was born with Down syndrome and without chambers in his heart. The little boy spent the first four months of his life at the Stollery.
He endured two open-heart surgeries by the time he was eight years old in 2002. His family thought the third surgery would go just as well as the previous two.
But Brendan never recovered. He died in the hospital two weeks later.
"Brendan, while we lost him, lived almost nine years because of the Stollery," Glavin said.
Shortly after, Glavin became a founding member of the Grieving Parents Society.
Elan
Burgess joined the group in 2007, following the sudden death of his three-year-old daughter, Elan.
Elan was a healthy little girl until she unexpectedly fell ill at daycare. Extensive testing at the Stollery was inconclusive.
Within hours, she went into cardiac arrest and was brain dead.
"It's never going to be right. It's never going to be proper. It's just going to be…" Burgess said, trailing off.
"It's going to be different," Glavin said, finishing his friend's thought. "I've accepted different, finally, and that different can be OK. But different's never going to be good."
"No, it's not," Burgess agreed.
Helping children live longer
Glavin spent some time with Burgess at Rainbow Valley on Saturday afternoon, and will be camping out with his friend on Sunday night.
He hopes to talk to Burgess about what it's like to grieve as a father.
"It's a really safe place to be with somebody like Peter because I actually don't have to tell him how I feel. I actually don't have to tell him it feels like yesterday to me that Brendan died and it's always going to," Glavin said.
"This is great that Peter's given me the opportunity to help support the Stollery to help other children live longer."
Burgess hopes to raise $15,000 so the hospital can purchase a nasal cannula ventilator. The ventilator helps children breath and doesn't require the insertion of a tube down the throat.
On Saturday afternoon, Burgess had raised about $9,000.
People can donate to the campaign on the Freezing Father's Fundraiser website.