The kindness of strangers: shopping for funeral flowers and learning to be open

CBC Radio One's The Early Edition is asking listeners to share their stories of kindness from strangers for a series that runs on Thursday mornings.

This week's story takes place 16 years ago, when Pat Penner was preparing for her mother's funeral.

Dear Stranger,

We met in your garden shop, 16 years ago.

My mother had just passed away, after a long struggle with dementia, and my sisters and I were planning her funeral.

It had been a long journey with her illness and the last part of her life — she slowly but surely disappeared from us before slipping into a coma — and we were all feeling emotional and raw,  just trying to get through everything and support each other.

As a last-minute detail, I was asked to order some extra flowers to put on top of her casket so I headed off to Chilliwack and somehow ended up in your shop. 

I remember feeling pretty overwhelmed as I wandered around your store, struggling to find something appropriate,  so I went up to the counter to ask for help.

You must have noticed something was wrong, because you very kindly asked if everything was OK.

I don't know why but, at that moment, everything just came crashing to a head and I burst into tears.  

Sobbing, I told you, "My mom just died and I need to buy her some flowers for her casket."

A lot of people might have been paralyzed by my tears, or of the sight of a strange woman weeping in your store, but you came immediately out from around the counter and gave me the biggest hug.

"I'm so, so sorry. Let's get these flowers ordered and let me help you," you said.  

That kindness and support was just such a comfort at that awful time. You did exactly the right thing at the right time and I've never forgotten the situation, or your kindness.

 I want you to know that incident reinforced my philosophy to reach out and ask if someone needs help — we should all just make ourselves open to people who are struggling.

Sometimes, the smallest things have such an impact — even if the person doing it has no idea. You gave me such comfort and support 16 years ago and I have never forgotten it.

Thank you.

Yours,

Pat Penner

If you have a story about the kindness of strangers, email The Early Edition at earlyed@cbc.ca.