Vancouver's first gay married couple reflects on B.C.'s legalization of same-sex marriage, 20 years later
Tom Graff and Antony Porcino married on July 8, 2003 just hours after the ruling
"Excited, elated, and equal to everyone in our country."
That's how Tom Graff and Antony Porcino described how they were feeling, to reporters, on their wedding day exactly 20 years ago, on July 8, 2003.
It was also the day B.C. lifted its ban on same-sex marriage.
Graff and Porcino were the first gay couple to get married in Vancouver. Two decades later, they say they are just as in love.
"Those words still ring very true," said Porcino in an interview with CBC News at the couple's Vancouver apartment.
"It seems like yesterday that we just got married, because I like being married," Graff said.
The couple recalls waiting in anticipation for the court decision on Jul. 8, 2003. Ultimately, B.C. became the second province in Canada to legalize same-sex marriage.
"I burst out crying. I couldn't talk and my heart was bursting," said Graff.
They rushed to get a marriage licence that day, and were married in front of the Vancouver courthouse within a few hours, surrounded by friends and media.
Marriage meant having the same legal standing as other couples, said Porcino, including the right to visit each other in the hospital and to take marriage leave from work.
But more than anything, marriage meant feeling pride in their relationship and a sense of belonging in wider society.
Graff says 20 years ago, it was difficult in some situations for him to even mention that he lived with a man.
"I didn't know what it was like to get out of the back of the bus. I didn't know I felt like I was in the back of the bus that much," said Graff.
Cheering, honking, champagne at White Spot
Graff recalls people on the street congratulating them after the wedding. And people in cars, who were listening to the live radio broadcast of the wedding, were honking.
"It just made the whole thing that much more both surreal, but impactful," said Porcino. "Because we knew so many people were interested and so many people were watching and hearing."
Word got out that the couple was headed to White Spot to celebrate, and Graff said the establishment filled up. He recalls staff even brought out champagne.
"I never thought they would serve champagne at a White Spot," said Graff.
20 years later
Porcino says since 2003, he has witnessed same-sex marriage become increasingly normalized in B.C. and across Canada.
"It's so wonderful to know that for the next generation, it's the norm for them," he said.
The couple had been together for 11 years before their wedding. Porcino says being legally married has made a world of difference.
"It actually was a very physical feeling to me that I no longer had to fight to have my relationship recognized," said Porcino.
Porcino says he is happy future generations won't have to fight to constantly defend their relationship like he and Graff did.
And their advice to a long and happy marriage?
Saying 'I love you' every day.
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With files from Baneet Braich and Goldie Poll