A Christmas miracle: An Okanagan man's journey out of homelessness
Bernard Cloutier turned his life around when he rediscovered his faith and passion for music
For hours at a time, Bernard Cloutier sits at a grand piano at the First Baptist Church in Penticton, B.C., as his weathered hands weave a tapestry of melody and memory on the keys.
Over the past several months, Cloutier has spent four hours a day here, multiple times a week, rediscovering his ability to play the piano as his voice fills the empty expanse of the church.
It's an opportunity Cloutier, 67, said he's especially grateful for as it lends him a chance to rebuild himself through music after his life saw a tragic fall from wealth and privilege into homelessness nearly three years ago.
"I feel like I want to cry because I know where I was and it's not too long ago," he said looking at a photo of his unshaven and tired face taken during one of his lowest moments.
"This was just before Christmas in 2021. I was wondering if there was a place for me in the world. It was pretty bleak."
The stability Cloutier now feels and sense of renewed hope for the future allows him to reflect upon that dark period of his life — a spell of about a year-and-a-half when he lived a precarious existence with unstable housing, including several weeks in a tent on rural property and later sleeping in his car at a campsite.
From riches to rags
It was an existence Cloutier would have never imagined possible during his working life as a stockbroker — a time of privilege and wealth where he amassed a financial fortune, retired early and travelled the world with his spouse.
"It was just wonderful... We lived in Mo'orea, French Polynesia. We went to New Zealand. It was a fantastic life, living on the beach in the summer and in Whistler in the winter," Cloutier said.
Through a series of poor financial decisions, however, his fortune evaporated.
He plunged into a dark abyss of depression — a pain that only compounded after his relationship of 17 years crumbled and his partner left him.
'I was suicidal'
In early 2021, Cloutier faced eviction from his highrise apartment in Vancouver over unpaid rent. With nowhere to go, he worried he'd end up homeless on the city streets.
"It was very sombre. I was suicidal," he said.
Then a glimmer of hope emerged when an acquaintance called with an offer for a new beginning under very different circumstances — living on a rural properly in the Similkameen Valley, about 235 kilometres east of Vancouver.
With no better options he agreed and made the tough decision to sell his grand piano, which severed his connection to music and the collaboration with other artists that had become central to his life at the time.
The sale allowed him to pay off his landlord and afford another month of rent to prepare to move to the Similkameen.
Living rough in a tent on a ranch
Living on ranch land was a far cry from the life of luxury he once knew, Cloutier said.
First he lived in a tent under a small, open-side shed and eventually in a small cottage in the woods. People he met at that time helped him reconnect with his faith.
However, in a cruel twist in late 2021, a chimney fire razed the cottage to the ground and with it all of Cloutier's music sheets and arrangements he'd created over the years.
"I was devastated. At one point I went down on my knees and I prayed because it was too much," Cloutier said. "I was homeless and had nothing."
With only $50 in his pocket, Cloutier went to Penticton and was able to secure temporary housing in a motel.
But his life became a series of moves, even living out of his car at a campsite along the Ashnola River, east of Keremeos, about 50 kilometres southwest of Penticton, Cloutier said.
Finally in the summer of 2022, a space opened up at a supportive housing building run by the Kiwanis Housing Society in Penticton, which provided Cloutier with an opportunity to rebuild his life and confidence.
Housing stability
At his small, one-bedroom apartment, a humbler life emerged. His government Old Age Security and Guaranteed Income Supplement gave him enough for rent and basic food and necessities.
Cloutier further committed to his faith and also felt the compelling call of the piano.
Those two forces brought Cloutier to the First Baptist Church, where he found community and a grand piano which wasn't being used.
Bill Rooke, care pastor at the church, witnessed Cloutier's transformation.
"It is just something beautiful that's difficult to put into words. But I can see that the Lord is working in his life," Rooke said.
"I know because of his story that there's hope for everybody in the world today and coming up to Christmas especially."
'In 2023, I've lived my best life'
The hours at the piano have become a lifeline, according to Cloutier. It was a way for him to reshape his future into one filled with excitement and optimism.
"I'm telling friends now that I've lived, in 2023, my best life ever. It is incredible that I could say this after all that happened."
Cloutier's path has connected him with other musicians in the community and recently opportunities to perform — in everything from church concerts to an intimate Christmas performance at a hotel lobby this holiday season.
"It means everything to me. It confirms to my brain, to my subconscious the enormous growth that happened," Cloutier said.
"It gives me confidence that if I was able to do all of that, I can do anything."
Through his playing, Cloutier believes, he's been able to transform his life's trials into something beautiful.
It's a "Christmas miracle" to share music with others this way, he said.
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