'Man Up!': Examining the push to bring back traditional masculinity
Mary O'Connell | Posted: June 15, 2023 9:20 PM | Last Updated: November 10, 2023
'Ultimately, these far-right men's groups are the greatest enemy of men,' says expert
Part three of Man Up! — a three-part series exploring masculinity in crisis.
*Originally published on June 15, 2023.
Twenty-first-century masculinity has become a battleground of wildly varying ideas about the beliefs and values of manhood.
One response to the distress that some men are feeling is to re-assert traditional masculinity, especially online.
In 2009, the term "manosphere" was popularized by a pornography marketer to describe a collection of online communities from neo-nazis to anti-feminist men: from incels who promote violence against the women who won't date them, to MGOTW (Men Going Their Own Way), a male separatism movement.
In 2009, the term "manosphere" was popularized by a pornography marketer to describe a collection of online communities from neo-nazis to anti-feminist men: from incels who promote violence against the women who won't date them, to MGOTW (Men Going Their Own Way), a male separatism movement.
"I think that what these far-right online influencers are doing is they're tapping into real lived and embodied psychological pain that men are feeling, but instead of trying to explain that pain in relation to, say, the history of patriarchy, they'll say that the reason you're in pain is because of women. Women have gotten ahead, feminists and liberals and other sorts of bogeymen," said Tanner Mirrlees, an associate professor of Communication and Digital Media Studies at Ontario Tech University.
Far-right and misogynist websites and blogs occupy one part of the masculinity debate. Another space is occupied by feminist social scientists who believe men who truly engage as fathers are the key to developing a healthier, happier manhood.
"Yes, huge surveys around the world tell us that men who are more involved in childcare are less likely to use violence in their relationships or indeed towards other men. Empathy is the key," said writer and activist Michael Kaufman.
"There are also studies that conclude that men who spend more time fathering their children, the kids score higher in school and the sons grow up to be less aggressive."
'Men are not doing great'
The state of men today partly explains why masculinity has become a battlefield of ideas.
Social scientists say men are suffering. Depression rates are extremely high. So are rates of addiction. And men are three times more likely to kill themselves than women. According to sociologist Michael Kimmel, there's a lot of evidence that "men are not doing great."
When labour participation rates are examined in Western countries, men are working less. Manufacturing jobs have disappeared, attributed to the "China Shock" syndrome, and automation is wreaking havoc.
"Whether it's a wealthy businessman struggling in a global economy or whether a guy's job has shipped overseas, the modern world has become difficult for men, culturally, mentally and economically," said masculinity scholar Anthony Rotundo.
The dystopic 1999 film Fight Club captured these factors on the big screen. The movie tells the story of alienated young men who are fed up with desk jobs, gym memberships and IKEA catalogues. They are victims of capitalism, but they pursue authenticity by beating each other up in dungeon-like rooms.
Kimmel interviewed young men involved in these kinds of clubs and says participants consistently said, "it was about being hit. It was about feeling something."
The critique in Fight Club is, "you'll work in a box, you'll live in a box, you'll commute to work in a box. You feel nothing in a relationship, you feel nothing. You've got to feel something. So I'm going to feel pain. And I want you to hit me," said Kimmel.
Initially, Fight Club did not do well at the box office but has since gained cult-like status, with clubs proliferating on university campuses, especially in the United States.
What's a man to do?
There is a crowded field of experts on the subject of what ails men today. Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson believes society is partly to blame for the masculinity crisis because it stereotypes males as being bad.
"We're treating men as pathological and oppressive. Fine then, why the hell am I going to play if that's the situation? If I get no credit for bearing responsibility, then your life is useless and meaningless, and you're full of self-contempt and nihilism. So, at a deeper level, a man has to decide that he has to do something," said Peterson in a 2017 Maps of Meaning lecture.
But just what is it that men must decide to do? It's an old question.
In the late 1800's, men and boys were viewed as nervous, weak and distressed as the industrial revolution took increasing hold of towns and cities.
Today, there's a new masculinity crisis. And, again, social scientists are debating why.
Brookings Institute scholar Richard V. Reeves says men now face the prospect of "cultural redundancy." He's the author of Of Boys and Men: Why Men are Struggling, Why It Matters and What to Do About It.
"Men haven't, by and large, moved into the growing occupations that are more female-dominated, like in health and education at all, and so they are somewhat stuck between the labour market of their dad and the labour market of their wife. And they haven't managed to make that adjustment," Reeves said.
He points to data that suggests men who have dropped out of the labour market are not doing so because they are taking care of kids, "but it's not clear what a lot of them are doing."
Reeves resists portraying men as simply victims. He believes affirmation action programs that encourage men to enter female-dominated professions like nursing and teaching is one viable strategy. But, he adds, further study on why men are falling behind is needed because "it is not that men have fewer opportunities. It is that they are not taking them."
Creating a 'hero's tale'
Some frustrated, disillusioned men take up a new hobby as keyboard warriors. Far-right groups online is a subject University of Toronto Ph.D candidate Jillian Sunderland is exploring.
"Like you can be sending Twitter messages all day and meeting like-minded people. So it is very exciting to be part of this new cultural shift that's always in the news, always provoking a reaction... they're part of this great reset, redefining masculinity, how to be a real man. And The End of Men, Tucker Carlson's video discusses the state of masculinity," said Sunderland.
"He talks about how men have been taught to be kind of too feminine, too restrained, and he wants to be one of these vanguards who takes men back to their true masculinity, so it looks to be almost a hero's tale."
One of the most prominent far-right influencers these days is Andrew Tate. A former kickboxer and minor reality television celebrity, Tate has made a lot of money monetizing misogyny.
Mirrlees pegs his net worth at $300 million from his podcasts, merchandise and donations.
"Ultimately, these far-right men's groups are the greatest enemy of men, in my opinion. They are capitalizing literally on men that probably don't have a lot of money to begin with," said Mirrlees.
He says these men are struggling economically and psychologically and are being taken advantage of.
The power of fatherhood
Toronto-based activist and author of The Time Has Come, Michael Kaufman, says while men often complain they don't have any more power in this world than their wife or sister, he reminds them, "Men as a group enjoy more privilege, opportunity and safety than women."
He adds, "the patriarchy also exacts a price from men with its messages: stay on top, keep your life under control, so Man Up!"
But Kaufman and other experts see a positive way forward for men through fatherhood.
"This transformation of fatherhood is most powerful in terms of potential and what's actually happening right now in Canada, the U.S., across Europe, and increasingly in Asia, Africa, Latin America. I really believe this transformation of fatherhood will be to men, what the feminist movement has been for women."
He believes if men take on deeper fathering, it will build empathy and help them become healthier as men. And government initiatives are making this a reality around the world.
"What happened first in the Scandinavian countries — and then was adopted in Quebec — were initiatives to actually actively encourage fathers taking parental leave."
Studies in several countries suggest "men who spend time on designated paternity leave live longer and have fewer mental health issues," Kaufman said.
Writer and journalist Hassan Santur would agree wholeheartedly. He is sharing childcare of his seven-month-old son, Weheliye, with his wife. It is an especially poignant time in his life, as Santur lost his father when he was four.
As he takes care of his child, Santur asks himself: what does it mean to be a dad? What happens when you grow up without one?
"Can I protect my son without being overprotective, love him without suffocating him?" asks Santur.
And often he wonders, "How do I raise a good man?"
Guests in this episode:
Michael Kimmel is one of the world's leading experts on men and masculinities. Among his many books are Manhood in America, Angry White Men, The Politics of Manhood, The Gendered Society and the best seller Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. With funding from the MacArthur Foundation, he founded the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony Brook University in 2013.
Anthony Rotundo is the Alfred E. Stearns instructor in history and social sciences at Phillips Academy Andover. His book is American Manhood: Transitions in Masculinity from the Revolution to the Modern Era.
Michael Kaufman has spent a lifetime as an activist, writer and speaker, addressing issues about masculinity and how to transform mens' lives, including The Time has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution.
Tanner Mirrlees is an associate professor and an undergraduate program director of Communication and Digital Media Studies at Ontario Tech University.
Jillian Sunderland is a sociology Ph.D. student at the University of Toronto and a Joseph-Armand Bombardier Doctoral scholar. Her research focuses on masculinities, power, and violence, with an added lens on anti-black racism and settler colonialism in Canada.
Richard V. Reeves is a senior fellow in Economic Studies at the Brookings Institution, where he holds the John C. and Nancy D. Whitehead Chair and leads the Boys and Men Project. His research focuses on boys and men, inequality, and social mobility.
Hassan Ghedi Santur is a journalist, editor, and novelist. He is the author of the novels Something Remains and The Youth of God and the non-fiction book Maps of Exile. He is currently working on his third novel, Imagined Lives.
* Man Up! Masculinity in Crisis was produced by Mary O'Connell.