Samantha M. Bailey channels every mother's fears in psychological thriller novel Watch Out for Her
Nikky Manfredi | | Posted: July 6, 2022 2:53 PM | Last Updated: July 6, 2022
'I identified with my main character in ways I had never anticipated'
Samantha M. Bailey began writing her second thriller following the breakout success of her 2021 novel Woman on the Edge before the pandemic hit — but, she says, the anxieties of being a mother in lockdown certainly found their way into the story.
Watch Out For Her is about a mother named Sarah who thinks everything has clicked into place when she hires a babysitter, Holly, for her six-year-old son. At first, the trio form close-knit bonds. But when Sarah begins to question Holly's affection for her family and sees something she can't unsee, Sarah moves her family across the country to start over. What did she see? And who is watching Sarah now? More importantly, what do they want?
Samantha M. Bailey spoke to CBC Books about becoming the writer (and mother) she needed to become when writing her latest bestseller, Watch Out For Her.
Someone's always watching
"We forget that we are being watched all the time, everywhere we go. There are usually cameras around you while you're walking down the street; people have security cameras outside their house. You think nobody is watching you, but at some point, you are absolutely being watched and it is terrifying. But, the psychology behind that is delicious to me.
"Most of us are people-watchers. If you watch how someone moves, the gestures they make, the way they move their bodies and if you really look at their eyes, it may be very different than the words that are coming out of their mouths.
You are absolutely being watched and it is terrifying. But, the psychology behind that is delicious to me.
"I wanted to look at what happens when we're hiding our true selves. I think only children are innocent. How can you be totally innocent if you're human? Because if you're human, that means you're flawed.
"And if you're human, that means you've been hurt and you've been traumatized and you've gone through difficult situations and you've hurt other people and you've made mistakes. I also wanted to explore the idea that we can't watch who watches our children when we're not there."
Listen | Samantha M. Bailey on The Next Chapter:
When worlds collide
"I wanted to explore a mother struggling with her own identity as a woman, separate from being a mother. I was so fascinated by it because I felt I'd finally come to a place where I'd achieved somewhat of a balance between motherhood and my career. My kids were in school. At the time, they were 9 and 12, and getting more independent, I worked mom hours. I could be fully present in their lives. I could volunteer at the school beyond the parent council. I found this damn good life.
"I made sure that I had my own identity. I achieved this life where I could be a mother and a writer and it fulfilled both parts of me — and then suddenly, the pandemic hit.
"I was just starting to get into drafting the book at that point. I'd done the outline, I'm getting into it and then the kids are home. I work in the kitchen so I have no space. And because I am 'mom,' I'm the emotional safety net. I am the snack-getter. I'm the person at recess or at lunch. So when they were doing remote school, it was all me. And my husband is extremely supportive and extremely present, but my job is flexible. When you're a writer and you're staring off into space, it doesn't look like you're working.
"When, in fact, I'm thinking so deeply that when I'm interrupted, I'm jarred out of my thoughts. It's hard to get back to where I was, but my kids came first. They had to come first. I was so worried about them.
I identified with my main character, Sarah, in ways I had never anticipated.
"Suddenly I identified with my main character, Sarah, in ways I had never anticipated. She's not me. She is far more paranoid because she doesn't know who to trust.
"She knows instinctively that there's something going on. She knows someone is lying to her but she doesn't know who. But I wanted to look at: how does a woman separate herself? What do you do when you do want to fulfil your own dreams and your own passions while being the very best present mother that you can?
"How do you deal with the guilt of taking care of yourself?"
Listen | Samantha M. Bailey on Here and Now:
Persevering for your passion
"It took years to find any success at all. Twenty long years. I was 20. I'm 49 now. And I was 29 when I started writing novels. My debut, Woman on the Edge, was the fifth book that I had written. I started out writing edgy rom-coms. I signed with a New York agent really quickly. And I was like, 'That's it!' And we went on submission for two of those rom-coms, and they were resoundingly rejected.
I was never going to stop. I wanted this so bad. I couldn't live my life with the regret of giving up. So I just kept going.
"I was never going to stop. I wanted this so bad. I couldn't live my life with the regret of giving up. So I just kept going. I then turned to darker women's fiction. Then I had kids and my writing just kept getting darker. I wrote two more books and I couldn't find an agent. And I think I spent about eight years trying to find another agent.
"I still feel like I'm that writer trying to get the book deal. I'm still that writer revising, you know? So when I saw Watch Out for Her hit No. 1 for the second time recently, it does not compute in any way, shape or form.
"I'm always learning that I will never feel like I'm done. The goalpost always changes. I just want to keep writing the best books I can. I just want to keep connecting with my readers.
"I just want to keep making people feel — and give them the best escape possible."
Samantha M. Bailey's comments have been edited for length and clarity.