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The AIH Transcript for December 23, 2019

Hosts: Helen Mann and Karen Gordon

HELEN MANN: Hello, I’m Helen Mann. Sitting in for Carol Off.

KAREN GORDON: Good evening, I'm Karen Gordon. This is As It Happens.

[Music: Theme]

Prologue

KG: Tonight:

HM: "System of impunity." Saudi Arabia sentences five people to death for the murder of the Jamal Khashoggi — but we talk to a UN official who says justice won't be served until there's a trial for the prince accused of ordering the hit.

KG: Home for the holidays. A Nova Scotia woman tells us how a newspaper story about her struggle for shelter became an eye-opening experience for a community and what she hopes will be a door-opening experience for her.

HM: Her cover is cone. They'd seen picture after picture, but now archaeologists in Egypt have found the remains of an actual woman from the time of the Pharaos wearing a pointy little hat.

KG: Tempest in a sea pot. Archaeologists in Greece find a two thousand year-old Roman shipwreck. Only the sunken boat has long-ago dissolved leaving only pots — and theories about a delicious cargo of olive oil.

HM: No time like the present. The hour is fast approaching for our annual airing of Alan Maitland's reading of O. Henry's The Gift of the Magi, a Christmas classic about the gifts that can't be bought.

KG: And...cottagers cheesed. A German cheesemonger asks a court for justice after an upstairs neighbour gets sniffy about the delicious smells stinking up their joint.

KG: As It Happens, the Monday edition. Radio that just knows this going to end with one of them feta'ing and the other one feeling blue.

[Music: Theme]

Part one: Khashoggi sentences, Dartmouth homeless woman, shipwreck pots

Kashoggi sentences

Guest: Agnes Callamard

KG: In the eyes of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, justice has been served. Whether the outside world agrees is another matter. In Riyadh today, five men were sentenced to death for the murder of Jamal Khashoggi. The US-based journalist and critic of the Saudi government was murdered and then dismembered inside Saudi Arabia's Istanbul consulate in 2018. But in a public statement today, a prosecutor said that Mr. Khashoggi's's killing was not pre-meditated. Instead it was a decision taken, quote, "at the spur of the moment." Agnes Callamard disputes that. Ms Callamard is the UN Special Rapporteur on extrajudicial killings and the author of an inquiry into Mr. Khashoggi's death. We reached her in Lyon, France.

HM: Ms. Callamard, you called this trial in Saudi Arabia, and I'm quoting, the antithesis of justice. Why?

AGNES CALLAMARD: Because the people that have been sentenced today are those at the lowest level of the chain of command. They are the hitmen. They executed in order. The people who masterminded the killing of Jamal Khashoggi have all walked free.

HM: So these are eight people were found guilty of eleven on trial. You mentioned the most senior people being cleared. There's three of them. How did the judge justify that decision?

AC: Well, that's a very good question because this is — and was a problem — with the trial. As we know, it was held behind a closed door. I have had access to confidential information about many of the hearings. What I can tell you is the following. The prosecutor himself, throughout the trial, argued that the killing was premeditated and was not an accident. The family of Jamal Khashoggi, represented by a lawyer, demanded that all eleven defendants be sentenced to death — and that all of them were responsible for the trial. The only ones that argued that this was an accident were not surprisingly the defendants. So conclusion that was reached today is in keeping with what the defendants seemingly appeared to have argued throughout the hearings. It also goes against the evidence that I have collected.

HM: Of the eight found guilty, three are going to jail. Five have been sentenced to death. There are going to be some who say this is justice in some form.

AC: No, it cannot be justice when the hitmen only are facing justice. Look, I've been working on crimes against journalists for the last 15 years. There is a system of impunity worldwide because we never go for the mastermind. The killing of a journalist is not like any other killing. It involves corruption. It involves repression. It involves propaganda. It involves abuse of power. So, no, I will never find a trial that end up with five persons found guilty who were frankly the lowest of the lowest in that awful event. I cannot conclude that justice has been rendered.

HM: In your very thorough investigation of Mr. Khashoggi’s murder earlier this year, what did you determine about who actually ordered his killing?

AC: The evidence points overwhelming, and in fact, in only one direction — which is that the killing was a state killing. The second step should then consist in unpacking what we mean by state. That's what the prosecutor should have done — looked at we did in the state has either allowed for the crime to take place, has ordered the crime, has incited the crime. All of those scenarios should have been investigated. It is my conclusions, based on the evidence I collected, based on the identity of the team, based on their working relationship for all of them. There is absolutely no doubt that the liability of the Crown Prince is involved. I could not conclude — like the CIA did — that it is involved because he ordered the crime. What I have asked for is for a follow-up investigation into his responsibilities.

HM: In that confidential material about the trial that you received, is there any indication that anyone raised the state's responsibility, be it the Crown Prince or anyone else?

AC: Not directly. There is evidence that the defendant consistently argued that they were obeying orders. What the defendant also argued against evidence is that they killed Mr. Khashoggi in the spare of the moment. To suggest for one second that Mr. Khashoggi could have been dismembered in the spare of the moment — that the body parts could have been carried out, handed over to a known individual, said the crime scene could have been sufficiently cleaned up so that people who will come in the following day will not be horrified by what they witnessed. I mean, clearly it requires planning. The presence of the forensic doctor, who was brought in the team at least 24 hours before the execution of the crime, the fact that there is a recording of that same doctor explaining how he's gonna proceed with dismembering a body. You know, that cannot be an accident.

HM: You are one of the only people to hear the recorded phone calls about this — and also, recordings of Mr. Khashoggi pleading for his life. Can you tell me how much of that has stayed with you?

AC: Oh, you know, of course, it has stayed with me. These are the last words of Jamal Khashoggi. He entered the consulate a happy man. And what does he confront? Five killers in the consul office. So that stays with me. So, you know, the discrepancies — the gap — between what he was thinking when he entered the consulate and what happened to him.

HM: If this trial is a shame and not true justice, what recourse is there? What is next?

AC: Look, there are several things that can be done. First, talking about Turkey, it has investigated the killing for the last 12 months. It has accumulated evidence that must be made public now. It can proceed under its constitutional law thorough a trial in absentia. So that's what it must do. The United States, because Jamal Khashoggi was a resident of the United States. There can be an investigation by the FBI. It has a mandate to do so. Finally, Jamal was, unfortunately, disappeared. Jamal was tortured. The killing of Jamal Khashoggi raises to the level of constituting an international crime against which Universal Jurisdiction attach. So places like Canada, like France, like Belgium, like the U.K., any countries that has domesticated universal jurisdiction should proceed with investigating and trying those that are responsible for the killing of Jamal Khashoggi.

HM: Ms. Callamard, it's very good to talk with you. Thank you very much for joining us.

AC: Thank you very much to you.

HM: All right. Goodbye.

AC: Goodbye.

KG: Agnes Callamard is the UN Special Rapporteur on extrajudicial kilings, we reached her in Lyon, France. For more on this, go to: www.cbc.ca/aih.

[Music: Ambient]

Dartmouth homeless woman

Guest: Joni Rutledge

KG: It's been a roller coaster of a year for Joni Rutledge. In June, Ms Rutledge was evicted from her apartment. Now, she's looking forward to starting the new year with new housing. Earlier this month, Joni Rutledge was featured in a profile — published by the Nova Scotia newspaper, The Chronicle Herald. It's made the holiday season a little different from what she'd anticipated. We reached Joni Rutledge at the hotel she's been staying at in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.

HM: Ms. Rutledge, where did you think you would be living this holiday season?

JONI RUTLEDGE: Probably in my car. You know, I was living in my car. And that's probably where I'd be.

HM: Before John DeMont at The Chronicle Herald published a profile about you in the newspaper earlier this month, how many people knew about your situation that you were in your car?

JR: Not very many because I didn't tell very many. I was ashamed that I was in that situation. And that I didn't share with too many people. So there was a few people that knew, but not very many.

HM: Now, ever since it's been published, a lot of people have responded [JR giggles]. they've really been moved by your story. Why do you think that is?

JR: I think because they realized that I’m the face of homelessness. That it's not the person that has an addiction problem. It could be anybody. It could be anybody, pretty much, yeah.

HM: So how did you end up living in your car? I gather it's been a really rough decade for you?

JR: It has been. It's been quite rough up and down. I was working. I became ill a year ago, and had surgery. And I was due to go back in January, and my medical E.I. ran out. So I went back to work. It was on less hours, so I couldn't catch up with rent. I was just running like a gerbil in a cage. And they gave me an eviction notice at the end of June. And I had no hurt feelings for them because I understand. You know, if you can't pay your rent, you need to leave. And then ten days later, I lost my job that I was at for eight-and-a-half years.

HM: And why did you lose your job?

JR: Well, it was absenteeism. I was unable to get my vacation days, so I called in sick. And, you know, I knew the rules and I signed the papers, so it was because of absenteeism.

HM: And I gather, you know, from seeing this profile and people's response to it, some of your former colleagues were really touched by your story. One of them even started up a Go Fund Me. He said you're a really good person.

JR: Yes! Oh, they're all so sweet. Oh [chuckling], people are good — really good. There is some people from junior high school that I've met. And one guy came up, and he said to me, he says, you don't recognize me, do you? And I said, no. And he said, remember junior high school? And I said, that's 100 years ago. I said, we both changed a little bit, so. [laughing] But, no, it was wonderful. And one guy, he came over to our car and he said, my wife makes homemade chicken soup. And he had a package of that, so.

HM: There was a single mom too?

JR: Oh, the single mom. Even she was so sweet. She came up and she said, I'm sorry it can't be more, but I'm a single mom, and I want you to have this. And she gave me five dollars. She said, I know where you're coming from. It was beautiful. It was a beautiful thing.

HM: Before all of this happened, you've been dealing with the social welfare system ever since you lost your job. What have you learned from that experience?

JR: [deep sigh] Well, I went to E.I., and they took seven-and-a-half weeks to let me know that I can't get E.I. because I was fired. And then I ended up in the hospital in September, and it was there for two weeks — over two weeks. And this social worker there told me to apply through sickness. And I said, well, I lost my job. I can’t apply through sickness. And he said, no. He said, you are sick, and you were sick. And that's why you lost your job, really. And, yes, it was. You know, it was through absenteeism and through sickness. You know, I understand and I get upset when I speak about community services. But I understand they have the rules they have to follow as well. And, you know, it's been a system that has had so many bandages and, you know, cracks filled and stuff like that. It needs to be started from the ground up.

HM: You said earlier that, you know, you're a face for homelessness that maybe people didn't expect. What do you want the average person to know about what it's like to be homeless, things that they may not see in a newspaper, they may not expect?

JR: Well, for me, the feeling of the shame of I'm a loser. You know, here I am at this age where I should have, you know, a little bit of pension, looking at retirement in a few years, and that. And here I am living out of a car. That's why I didn't tell a whole lot of people. The other part as far as the physical living there, it's bathrooms. You know, you either had to go to the store or someplace where you could freshen up. And if you were one person to get up through the night to go to the washroom, then it's a kilometre drive down to the gas station [HM hums in understanding]. So, you know, it's things like that.

HM: You're staying in a hotel right now with help from an anonymous donor. And the Department of Community Services is involved. What are you hoping for in the new year?

JR: In the new year, I'm hoping that I'm on a priority list for senior housing. And I'm also hoping that perhaps with Barbara Adams, my MLA down here. She's been really wonderful stirring the pot a little bit. And I think it would be nice to check in to see what other countries and other places are doing for their homeless. And what we can incorporate and improve here. Not just homelessness, but the community services as a well — as a whole, I should say.

HM: All right. Ms. Rutledge, thank you very much for sharing your story with us. I think it's important that we all hear your situation. And that it's nice to hear that people have stepped up to help you.

JR: You're very welcome. And thank you for talking to me.

HM: All the best to you.

JR: I thank you.

HM: Bye-bye.

JR: Bye-bye.

KG: We reached Joni Rutledge in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia — where she plans on spending a quiet Christmas at the hotel where she's been staying. For more on her story, visit our website at: www.cbc.ca/aih.

[Music: Spanish guitar]

Shipwreck pots

Guest: George Ferentinos

KG: It sank to the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea a long time ago: a large Roman ship that dates back about two-thousand years. Now researchers say they've uncovered the site of that shipwreck using sonar technology. But the only thing now visible on the sea floor is the ship's cargo. It consists of pots called amphorae, and they're in very good condition. The details are published in the Journal of Archaeological Science. George Ferentinos is one of the authors. We reached him in Patras, Greece.

HM: Mr. Ferentinos, for those who haven't seen the photographs, describe for us what this shipwreck looks like on the sea floor?

GEORGE FERENTINOS: The shipwreck actually has an oval shape — which is about 33 metres, 55 metres long, and 12, 13 metres wide — the maximum width of the boat. And the height of the hull is about three-and-a-half metres. So, actually, if you see from the sea surface, you see another separate section. We even think you can see the amphorae.

HM: Before I get to the amphorae, I just want to be clear. You can see the shape of the ship…

GF: No.

HM: Is there any of the actual ship left?

GF: No, no, you don't see the shape of the ship. You see the shape of the amphorae — which is exactly the shape of a ship of that time, if you see the ship from the top. From above, yes.

HM: So these amphorae tell you it was packed with these.

GF: This part, yes.

HM: Why were there so many of these pots?

GF: On the surface layer, you will see about 1,200 amphorae. But below them, there must be others. It was a very big ship, and the amphorae can go in five levels — one line, two lines, three lines, four lines, five lines. So in each level, you expect to have about let's say on average 1,000 amphorae. So if you multiply the five levels with about 1,000 amphorae, you make something between 5,000 and 6,000.

HM: So what was in them? What was the purpose?

GF: Could be in all the amphorae, it could be only wine. Could be also olive oil. Could be barley or wheat. And also, could be dry nuts. But maybe something — half of them could be olive oil and another half of them could be wine. Now, we don't know what it is inside. But we can find — and this is going to be the next step. You know, when you have olive oil or wine inside the amphorae, you know, the shell of the amphorae absorbs some of the olive oil or of the wine. So if you scratch a little bit from the inside shell, then you kind of have a DNA analysis, and you can find if you have olive or if you have wine in it.

HM: I understand there might also be some kind of sauce with sardines that was in these pots?

GF: Yes, okay. That is a possibility. At that time, the Romans liked a sauce. And that sauce is made of sardines — smashed sardines. From what I have read, it was very popular to the Romans. And I can compare it to this present day ketchup in America [laughing a little].

HM: Do you have any idea what the root then would have been for this ship — where it was coming from and where it was going to?

GF: Now, we kind of find… When we find what the amphorae were filled with. If the olive oil has good DNA, we may be able to find — In general — not for sure — that the oil was coming from Asia Minor miner or from the Palestine or even from Greece.

HM: You described the shape of the ship itself — including the fact that it was more than 30 metres. How important and how significant is the ship itself in terms of its size and shape?

GF: Ah, the ship now. The ship is important for the following things. First of all, let's say it's one of the largest ship found up to now to the Mediterranean Sea. It’s the fourth actually.

HM: Fourth largest.

GF: So that means that it was an important ship. The three others are about 40 metres long. And this is 35. The other thing is that the parts of this ship is buried under the sentiments of the sea floor. And this may indicate that we have a part of the frame still exists there — of the wooden frame. So if we dig in the sea floor and we get some parts of the wooden frame, then we can analyze it. And we can find what kind of tree, if it's a birch, if it's something else. And probably from where the tree is coming from.

HM: Do you have any idea how the ship sank?

GF: Now, theoretically, as I say, it went down not because of bad weather. Because, as I said to you before, what I see on the surface is the oval shape of the amphorae — which is exactly like the oval shape if we would have seen the wood around the vessel. This means that as the ship went down slowly without turning over. So it couldn’t be storm. So, apparently, there was a shift, I recon — a shift of the amphorae in the hull.

HM: So it sank slowly. It did not capsize?

GF: Yes, no. Slowly it will go down. The kill will touch the sea floor. And then gradually it’s going to tilt. So the amphorae will keep their shape — the shape of the ship actually.

HM: Are you excited by this find. It must be pretty exciting for you?

GF: of course, I am excited. I’m also excited — very much excited.

HM: Well, Mr. Ferentinos, I really appreciate you talking to us about it. It does sound very exciting.

GF: Okay, thanks very much. And soon, well, not soon. But next year, you may have to contact me again if we find something more exciting.

HM: Oh, well, we will keep you in mind, I promise. Thank you so much.

GF: Okay. Bye.

HM: Bye.

KG: That was marine geologist George Ferentinos in Patras, Greece.

[Music: Ambient]

Stinky cheese

KG: Robert Frost once wrote that "good fences make good neighbours". But one of the many flaws in that reasoning is that fences — no matter how good — can't keep out your neighbours' smells. Just ask the residents of Bad Heilbrunn, Germany. The Bavarian town is known for its beautiful scenery, its adventure park — and its cheese. Local cheesemaker Wolfgang Hofmann stocks about 200 types — some of which he stores onsite, in Bad Heilbrunn. But in recent years his practices have led to a decidedly immature spat. Manuela Kragler lives above Mr. Hofmann's shop. And since he moved in back in 2016 she's been making a stink about...the stink. Recently, Ms. Kragler even put up signs, warning passers-by about the odor. Well, that left a bad taste in Mr. Hofmann's mouth. So he took his upstairs neighbour to court. And last week, a judge ruled that Ms. Kragler can complain all she wants verbally — but the signs will have to come down. As the court put it — quote — "That a shop where large quantities of cheese are stored produces smells is a statement of fact." Unquote. So the cheese smell will remain. And if Manuela Kragler is going to continue to take offence, she may as well get a fence.

[Music: Indie rock]

Part two: Egyptian head cones, Reading: The Gift of the Magi

Egyptian head cones

Guest: Cory Rogge

CH: Judging by the pictures, ancient Egyptians took a long time to get dressed for parties. And sometimes they topped their complicated outfit with an accessory: a decorative conical hat. You see it in all kinds of old images. But scholars weren't sure what to make of those hats, because they'd never found any physical examples of them. Had they all been crushed, or eaten, during intense partying? Or were they just a case of artistic license? Well, according to research, we now know the cone hats were real. And the details of this discovery are published in the journal Antiquity this month. Cory Rogge is a co-author. She's a conservation scientist at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. That's where we reached her. And you'll hear Carol doing this interview. She recorded it before she head off for her holiday vacation.

CAROL OFF: Cory, first of all, where are these depictions of ancient Egyptians wearing head cones usually found?

CROY ROGGE: We see them in two paintings in both the non-elite and elite tombs. And we'll find them sometimes on stela, on depictions of individuals on cartonnage coffins kind of scattered throughout the funerary realm, I would say.

CO: What kinds of activities are going on when they're wearing these cones?

CR: So they're banqueting scenes — where the men and women are sitting in a banquet being served food. There are some scenes where the individuals are hunting in the marshes, and they will be wearing cones. Sometimes they are worshipping gods while wearing them, or interacting with their deceased ancestors.

CO: And how often do you find depictions of ancient Egyptians wearing head cones?

CR: They're pretty common in the New Kingdom. So it's been a big mystery as to why when something is so commonly shown we haven't found it?

CO: Ah, I mean, the actual physical object, right?

CR: Exactly.

CO: Now, just before we find out what you have found, we’re not talking about talking with a pylon here. [laughing] How large are these cones?

CR: They're small. So they're shown sitting on top of the head. And some of them are smaller, some of them are slightly taller, but they're smaller in height than the individual's head.

CO: So now what have you found in the way of these head cones?

CR: So the archaeologists on the team found the first cone in 2010 — when they were excavating one of the non-elite cemeteries at Amarna. And it was in situ on top of the woman's head. And then they found another one later on in a disturbed burial.

CO: Do you know anything about the remains, those individuals who were found in these two graves?

CR: So one of our co-authors is Dr. Gretchen Dabbs, and she is a specialist in bio-archaeology. And she knows that the first individual was a female adult. And, like many of the non-elite people Amarna, she'd had kind of a hard life. And there were indications of degenerative issues in her bones that suggested physical labour. The second individual, she wasn't able to determine the gender of the individual.

CO: So you found these. What are they actually made of? What do you now know about these cones?

CR: So that was my role. So I'm a scientist rather than an archaeologist. And I traveled out there with portable, non-destructive equipment. And we were able to determine that the primary constituent of these cones is wax. And the only wax that ancient Egyptians were known to have used was beeswax. So we can infer that it was a beeswax cone.

CO: And why do you think they were wearing beeswax cones on their heads?

CR: We don't know [laughing]. You know, given the depictions of when they're wearing them, it suggests that it's something to do with kind of an elevated or slightly beatified state. So they're able to interact with their deceased ancestors. They're able to interact with the gods. They're able to partake in ceremonies that will benefit them as individuals in their afterlife.

CO: There are some theories that have been put forward that these cones were kind of perfume dispensers — that they were actually imparting some kind of perfumy odor to the person who was wearing it. What can you tell us about that?

CR: So the non-destructive techniques we have to use in the field are good at measuring the primary constituent. And they're not so good at detecting materials that are there in relatively low amounts. And we would expect a perfume to be present in low amounts. And to have largely been lost over thousands of years of burial. So we're not really able to say whether these were perfumed or not.

CO: Why are there even areas that they might have been perfume dispensers?

CR: There are a lot of scenes of them worshipping gods or interacting with their ancestors and there's incense depicted. And a lot of the scenes also involve the individuals wearing cones — so there was kind of a hypothesis that there might be a scent connection there. And also, in some of the banqueting scenes, the banqueters will be proffered flowers. And they'll be wearing cones. And so you have scented flowers. Maybe the cones were also scented.

CO: And there's some wavy lines around the cones sometimes too, right, that might be an image of scent emanating.

CR: Exactly. And some of them are decorated with kind of wavy lines — which also kind of evokes that.

CO: Now, is it possible that these were just, I mean, that there are more elaborate versions of this, and these were, I don't know, the poor mans’ version of the of these cones?

CR: It is, but then why haven't we found them in intact burials? So we have intact burials for individuals who are royalty, and who are high elite. And they've never been found there. So there must have been something about these two people and why they had them. You know, why didn't the other 700 individuals excavated in the Amarna cemeteries have them? There's information we don't yet know.

CO: I've often wondered if in some other time, [laughing] that there will be archaeologists and scientists looking at our age and trying to figure out why we use things. And so, I mean, is it possible these cones were not really very significant at all, and that that maybe too much is being looked into them, and they're not really that important?

CR: Well, that's always the case. But the fact that they do appear so very often in depictions means that, I mean, why waste your time drawing it and painting it if it doesn't have a significance? So there has to be some significance there. It may be that the significance in burial is balanced by the fact that in most cases, more economically well-off individuals would be buried in coffins or in sarcophagus. And maybe that kind of a burial, you didn't need the protection or the invocation of a special state that these poor people who were essentially buried in nothing more than reed matting and some textiles needed.

CO: Well, as always with discoveries, some questions answered and more questions produced. So I guess you have more work to do.

CR: Exactly. That's the mark of a good project [slight laughing from both].

CO: Thanks so much, Cory.

CR: It's been a pleasure.

KG: Cory Rogge is a co-author of a recently published paper on ancient Egyptian head cones. She's a conservation scientist at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston, Texas — which is where we reached her.

[Music: Ambient]

Reading: Gift of the Magi

KG: It's that time of year. Christmas shoppers are scrambling like the elves in Santa's workshop to check everyone off their lists. But, before they cry out 'humbug,' As It Happens would like to reassure them that they've still got two more sleeps to get get everything wrapped up and under the tree. And if that doesn't do the trick, here's Alan Maitland with a reminder that the greatest gifts cannot be bought. Here's the former 'As It Happens' host reading O. Henry's 1906 story, The Gift of the Magi.

SOUNDCLIP

AL MAITLAND: One dollar and 87 cents. That was all, and 60 cents of it was in Pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher, until one's cheeks burned with the silent amputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty seven cents, and the next day would be Christmas. There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl, so Della, which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles — with sniffles predominating. While the mistress of the home is gradually subsiding from the first stage to the second, take a look at the home: the furnished flat at eight dollars per week. It did not exactly beggar description, but it certainly had that word on the lookout for the mendicancy squad. In the vestibule below was a letter box into which no letter would go. And an electric button from which no mortal finger could coax a ring. Also appertaining there too was a card bearing the name Mr. James Dillingham Young. The Dillingham had been flung to the breeze during a former period of prosperity, when its possessor was being paid thirty dollars per week. Now, when the income was shrunk to twenty dollars, the letters of Dillingham looked blurred, as though they were thinking seriously of contracting to a modest and unassuming D. But whenever Mr. James Dillingham Young came home and reached his flat above, he was called Jim, and greatly hugged by Mrs. James Dillingham Young, already introduced to you as Della, which is all very good.

AM: Della finished her cry and attended to her cheeks with a powder puff. She stood by the window and looked out dully at a gray cat, walking a gray fence in a gray backyard. Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, and she had only one dollar and 87 cents with which to buy Jim a present. She had been saving every penny she could for months with this result. Twenty dollars a week doesn't go far. Expenses had been greater than she had calculated; they always are. Only one dollar and 87 cents to buy a present for Jim, her Jim, many a happy hour she had spent planning for something nice for him. Something fine and rare and sterling; something just a little bit near to being worthy of the honour of being owned by Jim. There was a pier glass between the windows of the room. Perhaps you have seen a pier glass in an eight dollar flat. A very thin and very agile person made by observing his reflection in a rapid sequence of longitudinal strips. Obtain a fairly accurate conception of his books. Della, being slender, had mastered the art. Suddenly, she whirled from the window and stood before the glass. Her eyes were shining brilliantly, but her face had lost its colour within twenty seconds. Rapidly, she pulled down her hair and let it fall to its full length. Now there were two possessions of the James Dillingham Youngs in which they both took a mighty pride: One was Jim's gold watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's. The other was Della's hair. Had the Queen of Sheba lived in the flat across the airshaft, Della would have let her hair hang out the window someday to dry, just to depreciate her majesty's jewels and gifts.

AM: Had King Solomon been the janitor, with all his treasures piled up in the basement, Jim would have pulled out his watch every time he passed, just to see him placard his beard from envy. So now Della's beautiful hair fell about her, rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters. She did it up again nervously and quickly. Once she faltered for a minute and stood still while a tear or two splashed on the worn red carpet. On her old brown jacket, on went her old brown hat, with a whirl of skirts and with the brilliant sparkle still in her eyes, she fluttered out the door and down the stairs to the street. Where she stopped, the sign read “Madame Sofronie Hair Goods of All Kinds”.

AM: One flight up Della ran and collected herself panting. Madame, large too white, chilly, hardly looked the Sofronie. Will you buy my hair? Asked Della. “I buy hair” Said Madame. Take your hat off, and let's have a sight of the looks of it. Down replied the brown cascade. Twenty dollars said Madame, lifting the mass with a practiced hand. “Give it to me quick” said Della. And the next two hours tripped by on rosy wings. Forget the hashed metaphor she was ransacking the stores for Jim's present. She found it at last. It surely had been made for Jim and no one else. There was no other like it in any of the stores. And she had turned all of them inside out. It was a platinum watch chain, simple and chaste in design. Properly proclaiming its value by substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation as all good things should do. It was even worthy of the watch. As soon as she saw it she knew that it must be Jim's. It was like him: quietness and value. The description applied to both. Twenty-one dollars they took from her for it. She hurried home with the 87 cents. With that chain on his watch, Jim might be properly anxious about the time in any company. Grand as the watch was, he sometimes looked at it on the sly on account of the old leather strap that he used in place of a chain. When Della reached home, he intoxication gave way a little to prudence and reason.

AM: So she got out her curling irons and lighted the gas and went to work repairing the ravages made by generosity added to love, which is always a tremendous task, dear friends; a mammoth task. within 40 minutes, her head was covered with tiny clotheslined curls that made her look wonderfully like a truant schoolboy. She looked at her reflection in the mirror long, carefully, and critically. “If Jim doesn't kill me” she said to herself before he takes a second look at me, he'll say I look like a Coney Island chorus girl. But what could I do? Oh, what could I do with a dollar and 87 cents? At seven o'clock, the coffee was made and the frying pan was on the back of the stove, hot and ready to cook the chops. Jim was never late. Della doubled the watch chain in her hand and sat on the corner of the table near the door that he always entered. Then she heard his step on the stair way down on the first flight. And she turned white for just a moment. She had a habit of saying little, silent prayers about the simplest everyday things. Now, she whispered “please god, make him think I'm still pretty”. The door opened and Jim stepped in and closed it. He looked thin and very serious. Poor fellow he was only 22, and to be burdened with a family. He needed a new overcoat and he was without gloves. Jim stepped inside the door as immovable as a setter at the scent of quail. His eyes were fixed upon Della, and there was an expression in them that she could not read and it terrified her.

AM: It was not anger, nor surprise, nor disapproval, nor horror, nor any of the sentiments that she had been prepared for. He simply stared at her fixedly with that peculiar expression on his face. Della wriggled off the table and went for him. Jim, darling, she cried, don't look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold it because I couldn't have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. It'll grow out again. You won't mind will you? I just had to do it. My hair grows awfully fast. Say Merry Christmas Jim, and let’s be happy. You don't know what a nice… what a beautiful, nice gift I've got for you.

AM: “You've cut off your hair?” Asked Jim laboriously. As if he had not arrived at that patent fact yet even after the hardest mental labour. “Cut it off and sold it” said Della. Don't you like me just as well anyhow? I’m me without my hair, ain't I? Jim looked about the room curiously. You say your hair has gone he said with an air almost of idiocy. “You needn't look for it” said Della. It's sold I tell you, sold and gone too. It's Christmas Eve boy, be good to me. For it went for you. Maybe the hairs of my head are numbered she went on with a sudden serious sweetness. But nobody could ever count my love for you. Shall I put the chops on, Jim? Out of his trance, Jim seemed to quickly wake. He enfolded his Della. For ten seconds, let us regard with discreet scrutiny some inconsequential object in the other direction. Eight dollars a week or a million a year, what's the difference? A mathematician or a wit would give you the wrong answer. The Magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them. This dark assertion would be illuminated later on. Jim drew a package from his overcoat pocket and threw it upon the table. “Don't make any mistake Del” he said about me. I don't think there's anything in the way of a haircut or a shave or a shampoo that could make me like my girl any less. But if you will unwrap that package you may see why you had me going while at first. White fingers in nimble tore at the string and paper. And then an ecstatic scream of joy. And then, alas, a quick feminine change to hysterical tears and wails, necessitating the immediate employment of all the comforting powers of the lord of the flat. For there lay the combs — the set of combs that Dela had worshipped for long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs pure tortoise shell with jewel rims, just the shade to wear in the beautiful, vanished hair. They were expensive combs she knew. Her heart had simply craved and yearned over them without the least hope of possession. And now, they were hers. But the tresses that should have adorned the coveted adornments were gone. But she hugged them to her bosom, and at length she was able to look up with dim eyes and a smile and say “my hair grows so fast, Jim”. And then Della leaped up like a little singed cat and cried “oh.” Jim had not yet seen his beautiful present. She held it out to him eagerly upon her open palm. The dull precious metals seemed to flash with a reflection of her bright and ardent spirit. “Isn't it a dandy, Jim? I hunted all over town to find it.” You'll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it”. Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on the couch and put his hands under the back of his head and smiled. “Del” said he. “Let's put our Christmas presents away and keep them a while. They're too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now, suppose you put the chops on”.

AM: The Magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfully wise men — who brought gifts to the babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the Uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat. Who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days, let it be said that of all who give gifts, these two were the wisest. Of all who give and receive gifts such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the Magi.

KG: The late Alan Maitland reading The Gift of the Magi. That story was written by O. Henry in 1905. If you'd like to hear it again, you can listen on our website at: www.cbc.ca/aih.

[Music: Folk]

Part three: As It Happens favourites of 2019

Pants guy

KG: We cover a pretty wide range of stories on this show. From weighty ... to whimsical ... to downright weird. And when it comes to our favourites, weird and whimsical feature pretty prominently. In our next half hour, we'll be bringing you a taste of some 2019 standouts. Including tales of hipsters, hula hooping, and a University of Illinois chemistry major named Jake Wolf. This year, Mr. Wolf made his studies a priority. But when he showed up on campus in shorts last spring, he soon realized he'd neglected to dress for the success he was after. Luckily, a perfect stranger was on hand to give him a gift that probably tops anything he'll be getting this Christmas: the gift of another man's pants. Carol Off spoke with Jake Wolf in April.

SOUNDCLIP

CO: When did you realize you'd made a serious mistake?

JW: At 7:58 — two minutes before my class that's when I realized.

CO: What would be the consequences of going to that class with shorts?

JW: I would be thrown out of lab — which basically guarantees a drop in the letter grade.

CO: So the class begins at 8:00 — you are two minutes in, and you're wearing the wrong clothes, you're going to lose a whole grade. Could you go home?

JW: No. I could not go home. In my panicked state I thought maybe I can make it home – change and get back. But the latest you can swipe into class is 8:10. So you can be 10 minutes late and still make the lab, but there is no way I could run home in time. I thought I could that's why I started running but it would be actually impossible.

CO: Okay so when did you get an idea how you might turn this around?

JW: So I was about halfway home, and I looked at my watch and it was 8:04 -- so six minutes has already past. I had six minutes left, and I was only halfway home. So I thought I had to resort to something else. And that's when I saw Sam walking into — I think it was the business school in pants — And it was just, "I haven't tried something insane today. Let's give it a go." So that's when I went up and asked him if I could borrow his pants.

CO: And we have Sam Brown on the phone. Hi Sam.

SAM BROWN: Hi. How are you?

CO: Okay. Now, did you know Jake? Had you ever seen him before?

SB: No I had not until he approached me. I had never met him or seen him around campus.

CO: And how did he approach you?

SB: So I was walking in the building and I heard someone behind me yelling, "Hey! Hey! Hey!" So I turned around and looked and I saw some guy running towards the door. He kind of just said like, "ah this is going to sound crazy but I'm running late to my lab -- I'm going to need to borrow your pants." [Laughter] And I was pretty shocked. Nobody's ever come up to me and asked if they could use my pants, especially not a stranger.

CO: Did you wonder about this dude? Did you buy this story?

SB: I mean I could understand the story but it was kind of in a short amount of time. I didn't really have time to think whether this was a good idea or not. So that's kind of when I decided.

CO: Okay. Back to you Jake. So what did you guys do?

JW: So we both ran into the business school. I of course didn't know where the bathrooms are. So I was like, "where's the bathroom?" He's like, "oh it's over to your left." And we both rushed in and we switched pants. And I quickly got his number because I wanted to give his pants back. And I didn't even have enough time to like ask for his name. I just saved (number) it in my phone as "Pants." And then I ran to lab. That's what happened.

CO: So then you guys came out wearing each other's clothes. What did you think Sam -- did you think you'd ever see your pants again?

SB: He told me he was going to text me so I believed me. He seemed pretty panicked though. But I was like all right. So I just walked up stairs to class and thought that that was probably one of the crazier things I've done.

CO: When did you connect again with Jake?

SB: So it was around 11:00 when I walked back downstairs and I text him. And he was standing by the bathroom again and he said he was so thankful and that I was a life saver for him -- then we just went back in the bathroom and swap pants.

JW: I was so grateful. Absolutely ecstatic. I actually put 20 bucks in his pants because Sam was such a nice kid for doing that that I knew if I handed him 20 bucks he would definitely say, no no, keep it. So I actually slipped it in his sweatpants and I texted him later that it was in his sweatpants, so.

KG: Jake Wolf is a University of Illinois chemistry major who turned to fellow student Sam Brown when he needed some pants in a hurry. They spoke with Carol Off in April.

[Music: Folk]

Hula hoop record

For Jenny Doan, 2019 was a year of dizzying success. Literally. It all started on a Tuesday morning in November — when Ms. Doan began hula hooping at a bar in Chicago. And it ended 100 hours later — by which point she had completely smashed the previous world record for time spent spinning. That hooper clocked in a still altogether nauseating 74 hours and 54 minutes of hula. So a mere 75 hours would have been record-breaking. But as Ms. Doan told Carol Off last month, her plan was always to spin till she could spin no more.

SOUNDCLIP

CO: Yikes. So why on earth did you want a hula hoop for 100 hours?

JD: Yeah. So I always wanted a Guinness World Record. And so I set a date to get it before I was 30 -- which happens next year. And so when I passed my birthday in August this year, I decided to put pen to paper and write down a schedule and then just commit to it. And so I found hula hooping to be interesting because it's something that doesn't require a lot of money to learn. And when I saw footage of the previous record holder, I noticed his technique is a lot different to mine and I was pretty confident that I could do even better. So those are like my main motivations.

CO: Okay, so the previous record holder, Aaron Hibbs of Columbus, Ohio -- he hula hooped for 74 four hours and 54 minutes. You went for 100 hours. Why? Why didn't you just go for 76 hours or 75 hours and 5 minutes? Why the extra 25 hours?

JD: Yeah. There's a part of my personality that is a bit obsessive [laughs] and I don't really believe in half measures. So if I was going to train for that long, I wanted to really cement the record in there and I wanted to make sure that the next person that went, for the record would have to pay tribute to both Aaron and myself. And fully understand what 100 hours feels like.

CO: Hula hooping -- lots of people do it for about a minute and then they drop it. But did you drop it? Did it slip out of your waist area and hit the ground?

JD: Yes. There's like a kind of a confusing component to some of the mechanics of the marathon event. So the gist of it is for every continuous hour, you get a five minute break so you can save that up and use it up for later. So during the event, I always had extra time saved up in my pocket just in case for example, if somebody came over and knocked the hoop out -- I could call a rest break, recuperate and go on from there.

CO: And you did get a sleep at some point, right?

JD: Oh, yes. So with a lot of that rest being saved up in the first three days, I saved up enough rest so that I could have a 40 minute nap twice a day. And then in between that, I had to just continue to bank up as much rest as possible so that I didn't use it unless I absolutely had to.

CO: It looks like somebody maybe handed you a purple popsicle at some point. [Laughter] Did that lift your spirits?

JD: [Laughter] Yeah. So I forgot that being in a temperature controlled place that it can be so drying and so that makes it really difficult to eat and drink. And so having like a popsicle or an icy cola every once in a while was just like the combination of cooling down and sugar because if you sort of stayed in the background like I'm wearing a singlet towards the end because I'm so sweaty and everyone else around me is wearing like a down jacket and like a beanie because the place is so cold. [Laughs] So there was just this strange sort of disconnect between what was happening in my world and reality.

CO: How are your hips?

JD: Hips aren't too bad. My legs and feet though are a completely different story. [Laughs]

CO: What's happening there?

JD: Yeah. So with me standing for so long gravity pushed all the like fluid in my legs south. And so in the past like three days I've lost about six pounds or three kilograms in just liquid. So that has been very uncomfortable. But it makes going to work much, much easier.

KG: For Jenny Doan, 2019 will go down in history as the year she went down in history for hula hooping for 100 hours.

[Music: Hip-hop]

Aberdeen stone circle

KG: It's been over a year now since Neil Ackerman discovered a stone circle on a farm in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. Mr. Ackerman is an archaeologist, and one of his colleagues lived next door to the farmer. They'd seen the stones, and suggested he check them out. When he did, he initially thought he'd hit the jackpot. An ancient monument constructed by civilizations unknown. But as he told Carol Off in January, things weren't quite as they seemed.

SOUNDCLIP

NA: Yes so one of the stones in the circle is laid flat with two stones adjacent to it standing upright -- so you've got a kind of U shaped frame almost that's made, and the rest of them are just standing stones in a circle as you'd expect.

CO: So was it pretty exciting for your archaeology service in Aberdeenshire to discover this?

NA: Yes. It was a fairly big deal for us -- it's not often things like this get reported.

CO: And you put out the announcement -- you told your community that you have this great discovery.

NA: Yeah. Well we put quite a lot of work into the research. We looked at all the photographs and old maps and things like that which were inconclusive but that's not unusual necessarily. We had noticed a few things that weren't sitting quite right, but from everything we knew at that point it seemed almost certain to be original and at some point you've got to stick your head up and say this is what we think we've got. And we carried on researching afterwards and yeah then eventually we got a phone call from someone saying, actually I built that and...[laughter] it stopped the research really.

CO: And how old is it really?

NA: I think mid-1990s.

CO: It's about 20 years old -- not three or four thousand years old.

NA: Bit of a difference.

CO: Okay describe for me that day at the Aberdeenshire Council. Describe the feeling that -- I know this is a sad thing to ask you but how did you...

NA: Well my initial feelings obviously disappointment and the realisation that I was going to have to put out another press release [chuckles] to counter what I said. But then it is also very interesting in its own right. The more I kind of thought about it, the more interesting I find it that it is such a well-made version of a monument type -- that is so specific to this region. But I think it has a very fine outlook over the hills and valleys of Aberdeenshire -- it is a beautiful kind of viewpoint. And he just made it as a little kind of a landscape feature for himself.

CO: He wasn't trying to fool you. This wasn't some kind of joke or a scam. He just had this in this yard -- and he fooled you.

NA: Yeah. Yeah there was no malicious intent or anything like that. He just wanted to do it and did a very good job of it.

CO: Neil what was it like for you to write that second press release?

Well I think the response has been very positive and it has highlighted the archaeology of the area which is always a good thing.

CO: I mean was there a bit of chuckling in your archaeological circles about this?

NA: Oh yes, we've had a great laugh about it at work. It is funny -- you can't deny it. The fact that it's slightly at my expense is by the by. And I mean from an academic point of view it is at least as interesting as if it were an original one -- just because you've got modern regional identity being wrapped up in prehistory and from the point of view that probably more people now know about recumbent stone circles than otherwise did has been a positive I think.

KG: Neil Ackerman is an archaeologist in Aboyne, Scotland who thought he'd discovered a Bronze Age monument earlier this year. But it turned out that Recumbent Stone Circle wasn't ancient. In fact, it wasn't even old.

[Music: Folk]

Hipster Effect study

KG: Fortunately for Mr. Ackerman, he's not the only person who made the kind of mistake that might make you want to crawl under a rock this year. In fact, his may not even be the most embarrassing gaffe we covered in 2019. This was — after all — the year that a man threatened to sue a magazine for using his image in a story ... only to discover that wasn't him in the picture. The MIT Technology Review had used the image to accompany a piece about the so-called "hipster effect". That is, quote, "the counterintuitive phenomenon in which people who oppose mainstream culture all end up looking the same." Unquote. So much, it turns out, that they can't even tell themselves apart. It was the sort of non-conforming story we love to cover on this show. And so in March, we talked to the Review's editor-in-chief about the bizarre incident. Here's part of Gideon Lichfield's conversation with Carol Off.

SOUNDCLIP

GL: Well so he saw the article, he saw the photo, he thought the photo was of him. And he -- I guess -- maybe has something against hipsters or against being called a hipster. But he didn't like it. He wrote some things that were very uncomplimentary about the article itself. He called that I think a tired outdated piece of dubious research or something.

CO: I think a trope -- a tired cultural trope.

GL: [Laughs] That's right. And dismissed the research. And then said that we were using the picture of him without his permission, and in a slanderous way, and that he was pursuing legal action.

CO: So what questions did that raise for you when you got that letter?

GL: I mean of course the first moment I see something like that my question is, well did we do anything we shouldn't have? So I looked at what his accusation was and I said he seems to be accusing us of implying that he's a hipster. I'm pretty sure that can't be prosecuted for slander. But then my second thought was you know I'm sure that we used this photo in accordance with a license and we got it from a reputable agency so there shouldn't be a problem with using it even if the person in the picture doesn't like the implication. So I forwarded the email to our art department and I said you know I presume this was done with the right license. And their response was yes we have the right license. But you know we can take that picture down anyway if he's annoyed. So in the end our creative director Eric Mongeon wrote to Getty Images -- the agency -- and said look we have an angry reader who doesn't like the way we used his photo. Could you check that he signed a model release and the license is all in order? And they came back to us and they said, actually the model in this photo does not have the same name as the person who wrote to you.

CO: What?

GL: We had looked at his Facebook page because we knew the guy who had written at us. We had looked at his Facebook page -- certainly on his page he looks reasonably like the guy in the picture, but it's not totally clear cut that it's him, but it could be him. What Getty found was -- you know they dug up a whole bunch of other pictures of the same model that they have in archive and found it's not actually the same guy. And then they wrote to him and sent him those pictures and said we don't think this is you. And he replied, oh I guess you're right. It's not .

CO: Now do you know want to read his response. Or should I?

GL: Why don't you.

CO: Okay. [Reading] Wow. I stand corrected I guess. And multiple family members and a childhood friend who is an attorney who pointed it out to me thought it was a mildly photo shopped picture of me. I even had a very similar hat and shirt -- though in full colour I can see it's not the same. Thank you for getting back to me and resolving the issue.

GL: Yes.

CO: No apology though.

GL: No apology. But you know I'm happy that that's resolved.

CO: This is not a grainy distant tiny picture. This is a very very clear up-close image of a man with very distinctive features. How could you look at this and think it's you -- and it's not you. I mean does that puzzle you?

GL: I mean you know the picture is in profile. He's wearing a hat so it covers his hair. So you can't see what hair he has. And you know as a no longer in his 30s white man with a beard, I know that a lot of white men in their 30s with beards look kind of similar. So I guess it doesn't surprise me that much.

CO: I mean you and I might see this picture and say oh this looks like this other guy I've seen on Facebook or whatever. But if it's you -- I mean that's the different thing here. Wouldn't you know what you look like?

GL: You would think. You would think. I suppose you know the way we use the image -- we would change the colouring, so it's not natural colours. It's tinted. I could imagine that someone might just have looked at it and thought it was him. So I mean it's a remarkable coincidence that he and several other people looked at the image and none of them realized that it wasn't him.

CO: If this was your sort of iconic image of a hipster and somebody who is angry at the idea of being accused of being hipster, says it's not him. What does this say about hipsters?

GL: Well I think it says what the study says which is that hipsters all look alike.

CO: But even hipsters can't identify themselves. They look so much alike.

GL: So it's you know unexpected empirical verification with a mathematical model. I don't think we've spoken to the researcher to find out what he thinks but it's certainly something striking.

KG: Gideon Lichfield is the editor-in-chief of the MIT Technology Review. He spoke with As It Happens in March.

[Music: Piano]

BoJo cake

KG: For Boris Johnson, this month's UK election victory was sweet. But not as literally sweet as Rosie Dummer's success, when she decided to make a larger-than-life effigy of the British Prime Minister ... out of cake. Ms. Dummer unveiled her creation at the Cake and Bake show in London back in October. And at the time, she spoke with As It Happens guest host Nil Koksal. Here's part of their conversation, from our archive.

SOUNDCLIP

RD: We literally have a life-sized cake that looks to all intents and purposes as though he's suspended from a zip wire, flying the British flag, and looking a little bit perplexed at how he's going to get down. This is kind of taken from 2012, where he was caught on a zip wire. And we just thought it was a little bit of a funny moment. And we were going to immortalize him in cake.

NK: Why did you want to make a life-sized cake of Boris Johnson suspended on a zip line?

RD: [laughs] You're making me sound really nutty at the moment. No, it's because we’re at the Cake and Bake Show. So this is a big show in London all for people who love baking, cake decorating, and always do a lovely feature piece at the front that's a little bit entertaining. Something the public is going to enjoy. And a little bit of a show-off really as to what you can do with edible ingredients.

NK: And it's not just baking. The engineering involved is part of what made us interested in your story and your creation. [RD laughs] So gravity is a factor. How did you make this happen?

RD: My husband is an engineer, so thankfully, I get a little bit of advice from him. But essentially I have to be honest, just between you, me, and presumably your listeners, there is a little bit of structure involved — because without it, obviously, he would fall over. So I do have a welder. I used the welder to create a structure that, hopefully, will support the body weight. And I have to tell you this cake is heavier than Boris himself. It takes two people to lift it.

NK: How long did it take you to make it?

RD: Too long, far too long. It's taken me in all, probably about the best part of a month. Because that's including drawing it up, working out how to do it, things that will help me along the way like the frame, etc. So the best part of a month. But putting the cake in and doing the cake part of it has been a good week. And when I say a week, I mean you wake up in the morning and don't do anything until two o'clock the next morning. So I'd say it's a double-time week maybe.

NK: And is it all edible

RD: No, no, and I can't pretend that it is — although I'd love to. But part of the illusion is created by the fact that the bottom half is you know mainly the structure. All of his body is cake. And up to his helmet his cake. So I like to think of the bottom bit as maybe the cake stand as well.

NK: Why did you pick this particular moment in Boris Johnson's political life?

RD: I think much as I'd like to say it was it was because it was funny, it wasn't. It was really because of the illusion cake theme. So it fitted in with a theme. And suddenly the idea of someone suspended in midair was perfect. And Boris, it just all married together. Everyone's reaction has been what we wanted, which is just a little bit of fun. Whether they love Boris or whether they hate him, it doesn't matter. They've all loved the cake. They've all had a giggle. And to be truthful, we worried that maybe people would take political connotations from it that they haven’t. They've been cool about it.

And the truth is people will say I love Boris. Or they will say I hate Boris, but I love your cake. And so essentially the one thing I do think about Boris is that he's got a sense of humour. Now whether you love him or hate him, you've got to admit that he likes a laugh. So I think that's the bit we've tapped into. And it seemed to work.

NK: And I wonder living there, being mired in all of the Brexit discussions and debates, the ongoing mess that is Brexit, do you think people need a laugh?

RD: I think that's exactly right. At a time like this, when the country is genuinely divided over the whole issue of Brexit, you realize that nobody's ever going to please everybody — and they can't possibly. So at this point, whether you want Brexit, whether you don't want Brexit, at least we can sit there and say we have got a sense of humor. You can have a little bit of a laugh even though the country is quite serious about the situation at the moment.

NK: So you've put all of this time and energy into this creation. The parts that are edible, do you all sit down afterwards and say Job well done, let's eat cake?

RD: Let's eat cake, why not? Absolutely. And I'll be honest, I've had a nibble on the way just for quality control purposes, of course. Just to check that he's as chocolaty and tasty as he should be — so whether you think Boris is tasty or not, my cake definitely is.

KG: Rosie Dummer is the baker behind a larger-than-life Boris Johnson cake, which she unveiled at London's Cake and Bake show in October.

[Music: World music]

Bull penis thefts

KG: If you know As It Happens at all, you know that no roundup of yearly favourites would be complete without at least one interview featuring a phallus. Or in this case, many phalli. It all started when the St. John's, Newfoundland store PetZone posted the following on its Facebook page. Quote: "Do you know these people? We have video surveillance of them grabbing as many penises as they can and taking off!" Unquote. I should clarify: the thieves had made off with handfuls of dehydrated bull penises. Store owner Mark Winsor spoke with Carol Off about the incident in October.

SOUNDCLIP

CO: Mark before we get to the theft -- if we could just clear something up, why does your pet store sell penises?

MARK WINSOR: Well it's a popular item -- I guess it's because it's digestible and they don't chard, they don't chip. It's just easier for a dog to chew on. You know years ago it was the old -- I don't if everyone remembers -- but it was the old rawhide. You know the bleached white and brown rawhide which made it much more difficult to digest, you know. And the taste -- not to sound gross or nothing -- but the taste is much more flavorful for dogs.

CO: What do you think it tastes like?

MW: I never tried one. [Laughs] I never tried one but they are popular and dogs do love them.

CO: Okay. Now I'm looking at a picture. They're big, aren't they? I mean well at least they're long. Do you want to describe these things?

MW: Well you know like they do come in different sizes. You know they do that you know for marketing and also they do it because of the size of the animal I guess -- you know you choose the size for your liking.

CO: And yeah you'd think that bulls do come in different sizes, right, I guess their penises do too.

MW: Well you know what they actually do, it is a bull penis, so what they do is they actually take it and they dehydrate it. So like any of the animal they don't waste nothing. You know there's the ears. You know you can get their ears too. You can get the nasal -- like the nose. And you can get the kneecaps. And you can also get like their nails. There's manufacturers that buy a lot of this up and they sell it to stores like my own.

CO: Let's get to what happened at Pet Zone -- your store. When did you realize that you had been robbed?

MW: It was just Saturday past around 5:00 pm -- we got a call. We're still mind boggled until this day. I mean we're still mind boggling because it's funny because it was a man and a woman that you know done the theft and they took handfuls -- I mean we do have you know surveillance so you can see them take the handfuls of well pizzles/penis and they try to put it up their shirt or you know wherever they tried to put it but they took so much of it in their hands, they just walked out like it was a normal shopping day.

CO: Pizzle of course is the name -- you don't call them penises in the stores. So they were shoving these things -- these bull penises -- into their clothes?

MW: Up into their clothes. Yes that's correct.

CO: And how many did they walk out with?

MW: They walked out with hundreds of dollars worth -- believe it or not. Because how it goes with the pizzle is the longer you buy one the more it cost. And you know the shorter well it doesn't cost as much.

CO: So people like the long ones.

MW: It's all based on preference with the of size dog. You know if you have a big dog well then you can go with a longer one. So again what happens with the pizzle is where it is dehydrated you know the animal starts from the tip and then they just keep on chewing down till there's nothing left.

CO: What's the longest pizzle you've had?

MW: About four feet long.

CO: Good heavens.

MW: Yeah. Right from four feet to four inches. [Laughter]

CO: And so in a dog this works that thing until it's gone I guess.

MW: Yeah. And again it's much more safe. Again you don't have to worry about any splintering, it doesn't cause any blockages.

CO: Right. So how do you think that thieves could unload stolen bull penises?

MW: You know like so many things came to my mind: maybe they were going to resell them somewhere -- the black market did cross my mind. Unless the couple really loved their animals.

CO: [Laughter] Okay. So they may have been stealing them for their pets. Okay. That's a possibility. But what's the value? Is there a dollar amount you can put these in?

MW: Yeah. Say if we sold say a 3-foot one they are about 24 dollars for a 3-foot one.

CO: Okay. So what do you think the street value of the bull penis is?

MW: The street value?

CO: Yeah.

MW: You probably get them for 15 dollars each. Maybe more. You know the pizzle is a very high end item. And again it's the market because they're so popular -- it's the market I guess that drives them up because they're in high demand. When the thieves left with their pizzles from our location here in. St. John's and they actually went afterwards they went to our sister store -- believe it or not -- right after...

CO: For more pizzles?

MW: We don't know. We went through the surveillance and what had happened was at our sister store right away we got a call. Our supervisor here was you know just on the radar to look, to see, you know just to make sure everything's up all right in the store. And when she went to the store she noticed that the thieves were in our other store.

CO: Do you think you might -- in the future -- have to get some kind of a case, like lock up your pizzles so they don't get stolen?

MW: Well you know it's funny you know not to sound crude on the phone but you know people like to see things and people like to touch. You know that's the way it is you know. You know it's like when people go and they go to a grocery store you know people like to look at their fruits. And when people come into our store you know they look. They like to look at all these different type of parts that we sell. You know to lock them up you know it is something that I wouldn't agree with.

CO: Well Mark I hope you find out. It sounds like this crazy thing out there -- people stealing these things. Well maybe the police will figure it out.

MW: I hope so. I hope so.

KG: Mark Winsor is the owner of Pet Zone in St. John's, Newfoundland. And we're happy to report that not long after we spoke with Mark, he posted the following on Facebook. "Update! The couple that robbed us, and a lot of other people and places, were CAUGHT! Thanks to everyone that messaged us and helped find these two." Keep listening to As It Happens all this week and next for more highlights from the year that was. Or tell us about one of your favourites by calling our Talkback number at 416-205-5687.

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December 23, 2019 episode transcript

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