Canada Reads shocks literary world with rebrand to Canada Watches

Image | Canada Watches

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TORONTO, ON—In the midst of this year's annual Canada Reads competition, readers were stunned by the announcement that next year the national competition will switch focus to film.
The program has traditionally invited five Canadian celebrities to champion homegrown authors. However, due to record-low enthusiasm for literature, it will instead focus on blockbuster movies.
"We think it's the right direction," says program head Daniel Hooper. "When was the last time you even saw someone reading a book, much less discussing it?"
Hooper believes the shift to moving pictures will attract a much broader fan base. "We're not even limiting it to Canadian movies," continues Hooper. "I mean, have you seen some of the stuff they're putting out in the U.S.? Amazing."
Five panelists have been selected, who will each champion a specific film, including:
Sook Yin Lee for John Wick 2
Rex Murphy for Avengers 3
Rick Campanelli for Indiana Jones 5
Bryan Adams for Fast and Furious 8
Margaret Atwood for "that Star Wars spin-off about Han Solo."
The panelists will square off in a series of formal debates to decide which film is most "awesome."
"Traditionally the books featured on Canada Reads see a bump in sales," says Hooper. "We're hoping it does the same for the U.S. film industry so that they shoot more movies in this great country."
An outspoken critic of the announcement was astronaut Chris Hadfield. "It's absolutely unacceptable to me that the program is heading in this direction," says Hadfield. "Why you would exclude Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is bonkers to me. That space raccoon is great!"