Rick Hansen's daughter writes touching account of stillborn son

Wheelchair athlete posts link to daughter's moving blog post to Facebook

Image | Rick Hansen - Emma Vandenbrink

Caption: In her blog post, 'Born Still, but Still Born,' Emma VandenBrink describes the emotional roller-coaster of coming to terms with her son's stillborn birth. (Emma VandenBrink)

Emotional messages of support and sympathy are pouring in after Emma and Aaron VandenBrink shared the heartbreaking loss of their son in "Born Still, but Still Born" — a blog post shared on social media by wheelchair athlete Rick Hansen, Emma VandenBrink's father.
Rick Hansen posted a link to the blog post, on his Facebook page.
"Sending all my love to my daughter Emma and her husband Aaron, who have shown incredible strength and grace during this heartbreaking loss," he wrote.
This story needs to be written and shared ... for though he was born still, he was still born. This is for you, my darling Reid. - Emma VandenBrink
Emma VandenBrink's blog opens with a frank assessment of the unexpected chain of events that were about to unfold.
"This is not the story I had been drafting in my mind over the weeks leading up to our due date," she wrote.
"I was imagining excited phone calls, a joyous labour, and my crying baby on my chest at the end of it all. But this story still needs to be written and shared as it would have had it played out to my most perfect plan. For though he was born still, he was still born. This is for you my darling Reid."

'Today might be the day'

With that poignant introduction, Emma launches into a detailed account of her experience. She recalls waking up on Good Friday morning, thinking [one day before the due date]" today might be the day."
"Baby hadn't moved yet, but I pushed any concerns I had to the back of my mind as I went about my morning routine," she wrote in her blog. "Besides, he had been his usual self, lovingly kicking my right ribs well past midnight until I finally fell asleep."

Image | Emma VandenBrink's blog

Caption: Emma and Aaron VandenBrink hand in hand. VandenBrink said she felt her story needed to be written and shared. (Emma Hansen)

As minutes turn into hours and with the baby still not moving, Emma called her husband Aaron and the pair made their way to BC Women's Hospital. When standard listening devices failed to detect the baby, Emma was hooked to an ultrasound.
"And then [the doctor], she spoke the worst words, I'll ever hear," she wrote.
"'Ok. I have the ultrasound focused on his heart now. Do you see that? It's not moving. And there's no red and blue to signify blood flow. I'm so sorry, but your baby is dead.'"

'Reid was the perfect mixture of us both'

"All I remember next was collapsing into Aaron's arms as we both sobbed over my belly. Our son was dead and there was this overwhelming pain washing over me like I'd never felt before. Nurses and doctors buzzed around us and slowly trickled out of the room as we rubbed my stomach and begged our boy to kick — just one more time."
Emma recounts how the next eight hours passed in a mixture of silence and apprehension until her contractions began and she returned to the hospital.
Finally at 2 a.m. PT on April 4, on the exact date she was due, Emma wrote "our beautiful son, Reid Richard VandenBrink was born sleeping."
"We spent the next moments poring over every flawless inch of his strong body. Reid was the perfect mixture of us both. Aaron's nose, head shape, and long fingers and toes — he would have been tall. My eyes, dimpled chin, and shock of black hair. I know I'm biased but he was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. These memories are both the happiest and the most painful I'll ever know, and there'll never be enough of them."

Messages of support

After the couple posted the blog entry online, readers responded with sympathy, with some sharing similar experiences:
  • "I am so truly sorry for your loss. We lost our first baby as well, a son, his name was Samuel. He passed because of a cord accident as well," wrote Kayce Peters. "It was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. If you ever want to talk to someone who shares the same pain only you know please feel free to email me sometime."
  • "I am very sorry for your loss. We went through exactly the same experience when we lost our baby girl Charlotte 7 years ago, except that my wife was alone when it happened as I was out of country for work and that we had to wait for almost a week to birth her. We were told the same cause for her passing. I held her for 20 minutes before saying goodbye and I still treasure every moment of it," wrote another reader named Dennis.
  • "I'm crying my eyes out, reading this, having been through it with my sister. Bless your hearts...I am so terribly sorry for your loss," wrote MrsWelton in another post.
Corrections:
  • An earlier version of this story said it was a nurse who told Emma VandenBrink her baby had died. In fact, it was a doctor. April 16, 2015 6:39 PM