The beginner's guide to Gay Pride

This article was originally published June 15, 2017 and was updated June 1, 2018.

Pride month is underway! Every year Pride events across the country bring together the LGBTQ community and its allies to celebrate, and those celebrations are growing. If you're planning on attending a Pride party for the first time ever, I've got all the info to help you have a happy, safe and fun-filled Pride — gay, straight or in between! I assembled a gaggle of gays and Pride veterans to talk about their experiences and lend their expertise. These these are their top 10 tips for newcomers.

#10 Don't stare

There will be nudity. Ok not always, but the odds of exposure increase dramatically during Pride events. Pride is not an oversexualized orgy as some sensationalized media coverage may suggest but it is, in part, a celebration of sexuality. Amongst this broad swath of humanity you will find a wide, and I mean wide, variety of people and personalities. Some of those people may be exhibitionists who decide assless chaps aren't meant to be accessorized. But remember amongst the exhibitionists will be all the colours of the rainbow. If you are new to Pride or from a smaller community you may see people and personalities you aren't used to. Remember, this is meant to be a safe space for everyone attending and it isn't a circus act, it's authentic self expression. Keep that in mind and observe accordingly.

#9 Pace yourself

Pride month is exactly that: an entire month. In most cases though, the majority of celebrating is distilled down to one week and one epic weekend. The overwhelming consensus from my sources is don't get overwhelmed immediately. Whether you are a heavy partier or a straight-edge socializer, moderation is key.  

#8 There's love for every body

One of the men I talked to taught me a new term. He told me his friend had texted him to tell him he was starting his "priet" today. The definition: pride + diet. It's no secret gay society, gay male society in particular, has some unusually unrealistic body image standards. But you don't have to have a vacuum sealed torso to enjoy pride. If there is one thing the LGBTQ has its a diversity of appetites: Bears, Otters, Wolves — there's undoubtedly a place for you in the zoo so march that muffin top with pride.

#7 Leave your gavel at home, Judge Judy

There is one thing that has absolutely no place at Pride and that's judgment. Ok, that's a lie. There is all kinds of judgment; the key is in what kind. Again, my "priet" friend tells me there is all kinds of judging going on between the fit and the flabby, volleying insults based on obsession versus obesity. With so many sub-groups that's going to happen. The one thing that is not tolerated by all groups: any judgment based on gender, race, sexuality or mannerisms. That happens enough in the real world and has no place at Pride.

#6 Go digging

A wise lesbian gave me this tip. Most Pride celebrations big or small culminate in a big splashy parade, but according to my source, the real meaningful moments happen off the beaten track. Look outside of the main strip during your city's celebrations. It's not just about partying. Arts, culture and community are a big part of it too. If you're in a small town, start an event of your own and look for your tribe. There's a gay pilots' association, a gay doctors' association… you name it and a gay version of an association probably exists. Social media is a great tool for starting and finding these hidden gems.

#5 Newbies beware: You're about to be noticed

If you are travelling to experience Pride, know this: fresh faces get a lot of attention. Within each local community there is usually a well established network of friendships and familiarity- even in big cities. These are minority groups after all, and smaller communities are tight. So if you like attention get excited! If you hate it... brace yourself. If you are straight, don't be taken aback if someone assumes you are not straight. Remember, affection is usually compliment.

#4 Be safe

O.K. here comes the Debbie Downer part. Sexually Transmitted Infections are on the rise in Canada, and it's not just HIV you have to worry about. Gonorrhea, Syphilis, these diseases are spiking in provinces all across Canada. If you decide to have sex, do so safely.  If you decide to drink, do so safely. Try to celebrate with people you know and trust — and keep an eye out for fellow members of your community as Pride celebrations are not immune to anti-LGBTQ infiltrators.

#3 Sellouts and supporters: Expect a corporate presence

Here's the thing. Pride celebrations are getting bigger and more numerous and someone has to pay for all that glitter. You've probably noticed that corporate culture has caught on to the LGBTQ community. I mean, why not? We have so many DINKs! (Dual Income No Kids) The first Pride parade I went to in Toronto had a giant TD Bank activation with multiple 6 foot models in speedos clearly on a strict priet. All that was missing was a modified slogan: "Banking can be this bangable." There are two schools of thought on this:

1. Yay! Thanks for sponsoring our Pride!
2. F**k off you are appropriating our culture for profit.

I'm not here to make you pick a side. Just have your argument ready when you do.

#2 Know your history

The costumes, the water guns, the glitter, the massive parades… it can be easy to forget the origins of Pride. Not so long ago, celebrations of gender and sexuality were shunned openly in Canada, including in Canadian media. Back in the 70s, TD Bank wasn't jumping in with sponsorship money. In the age of the Stonewall riots in America, Pride celebrations were as much about protest as they were about celebration of gay culture. Attending Pride then took real courage and did much to cement the rights of the LGBTQ community in this country and expose our fellow citizens to a culture worth celebrating. Remember that when you run into the more advanced generations attending Pride and give them the respect and reverence they deserve. Remember, too, how lucky we are in Canada, as Pride celebrations are routinely broken up with state-sponsored violence in other parts of the world.

#1 Wear sunscreen

OK, I know that the last tip seemed like the logical/impactful place to end this but for some reason EVERY SINGLE PERSON I talked to about Pride gave this same piece of advice: Wear Sunscreen. So wear sunscreen. Especially if you're going with the assless chaps look.

Ryan E. Thompson is a Toronto based television producer and writer specializing in LGBT issues and entertainment.