How to make new friends after a big move

Making new friends is a daunting task at any age, but it seems to get harder the older we get. Finding your new group after a move it always hard and can be pretty scary when it comes along with a brand new school. Resident relationship expert, Andrea Bain, gets asked all kinds of relationship questions from friendship to dating. This time she was asked a question by a parent looking to help her teenage daughter make friends, and Andrea has some solid advice, no matter your age.

Dear Andrea,

We had to relocate recently and my fifteen-year-old daughter is now faced with being in a new school. She's having a hard time fitting in, especially since she joined her classmates partway through the school year. Can you help ME to help HER make friends?

Signed, Concerned Parent

Andrea told us that she changed schools when her parents moved to a different neighbourhood when she was in Junior High, and she had to start over with friends. But a few tips and tricks helped her feel more confident and make new friends during these very self-conscious years. Here's her advice for making new friends.

Befriend yourself

Build your daughter's confidence, because teenagers are so insecure. They want the coolest clothes and shoes to help fit in, they engage in crash diets to change their bodies, or they just generally spend too much time trying to change who they really are. If you're a nerd, own it. If you knit, keep at it. Befriend and love yourself. That authenticity will help draw people to you. Hiding behind a false front won't help you make you new friends.

For the parent, remind your daughter before she goes into a new situation that she is wonderful as she is and needn't change for everyone just because of peer pressure. The unique things about a person are often the best parts, so teach her to appreciate those qualities. But don't obsess if a change doesn't happen overnight. It won't help to worry or try too hard. In time, you'll find your crew if you make sure to be yourself.

Put yourself out there

The first thing anyone wants to do in a new situation is to recoil into a corner and hide out. But instead, Andrea says to talk to everyone in the classrooms and hallways. Get into the mode of talking to people. It can be simple. Like, "Hey, what's the geography homework?" or "Wow, you really did well in that play" etc. Say hi to your peers particularly after school, and you might even get an invite to hangout. And putting yourself out there is good advice for everyone, not just teens. Everyone finds themselves in new situations throughout life, so the earlier you get used to it, the better.

Join a club or team

Pick one based on your interests. You'll find your group by joining a club because you'll meet people you automatically have something in common with, and with whom you can work towards a common goal. For example, if you join the volleyball team, you'll be around those same girls for practices, meets and team bonding events. You're sure to find a friend throughout all those team activities. For example, Andrea was a dancer, so she joined the cheerleading team. She made friends super quickly after making that connection, and she is still close friends with some of them today, so her advice is tried and tested. But if you don't have a club you'd be interested in joining in your school, get in touch with your teachers and start one. Other teens with the same interests as you might eagerly join.