Finding queer-friendly spaces in the world of TTRPGs

Safe spaces are vital for LGBTQIA+ folks. In the realm of tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGs), this pertains not only to the fictional worlds being crafted but also to the people with whom these worlds are co-created. Queer-friendly TTRPGs aren't just about who your character might fall in love with — though that can be part of it — but about simply feeling comfortable and free to explore one's queer identity in any form it might take.

I had the opportunity to speak with three queer game masters (GMs) about their experiences navigating the TTRPG landscape.

Jupiter Wildwood (she/they), who works in accessible communications and as a tour guide, moonlights as a professional GM for StartPlaying. Her TTRPG journey began nearly a decade ago with Pathfinder. Given its intricate rules, she found it somewhat overwhelming as a neurodivergent novice. Realizing her anxiety as a player, she wondered if she might feel more at ease as a GM, which led her to run a much smaller and sillier adventure game centred around battling calzones.

Aki (she/her), a community specialist in the gaming industry by day and a builder of fantastical worlds by night, co-produces the actual play podcast called Goblets and Gays. Her introduction to TTRPGs was during college when she stumbled upon the popular streaming series Critical Role. Inspired, she decided to join her school's D&D club, which predominantly consisted of cis white straight men.

"I would be the only person of colour and also the only queer person in there," Aki explained. She eventually turned to playing online to seek out more diverse and queer-inclusive tables.

Bee Zelda (they/them), a community manager for an indie video game company who, similarly found a way to turn their TTRPG hobby into profit by becoming a professional tabletop player, GM and facilitator as a side gig. Their first time playing Dungeons & Dragons came through a podcast called The Broadswords. Even with initial missteps, an incredible roleplaying moment unlocked their love for character development and interactions.

Though each embarked on their TTRPG journey differently, they all realized that finding the right queer-friendly tables made a huge difference in their gameplay experience.

Imagining better worlds

The essence of the fantasy genre allows people to transcend real life limitations and explore. In television, film and literature, however, the audience lacks control over the narrative — and can potentially encounter queer and trans phobia, racism, misogyny and misandry. 

This is where TTRPGs can offer an alternative.

"We don't need fantasy queerphobia here," said Wildwood. "Games like TTRPG let us imagine different possible futures without feeling burdened by real world realities and barriers."

For Aki, an artist known for her character designs in TTRPGs, encouraging her players to embrace any identity at her tables is part of the experience. "I do not care what people play, as long as it's respectful," Aki said.

We don't need fantasy queerphobia here.- Jupiter Wildwood

All three agreed that TTRPGs naturally lend themselves to facilitating a queer-friendly environment. Zelda said, "We can play in a world where we feel safe, comfortable, and we have control around the space that we're in — and we do not have that in real life."

Your IRL table should also be a safe space

It's not just about creating a queer-friendly fantasy world, it's about finding a queer-friendly table — in-person or online — with like-minded people so you can build that world together.

Queer-friendly will always be at my table.- Aki

Wildwood, Aki and Zelda all emphasize the importance of pre-game conversations about players' lines (content they prefer to avoid, such as queerphobia or racism) and veils (content that's implied but not explicitly played out, such as sex or gore). This safety measure is a crucial step in ensuring everyone's comfort in this space and should never be overlooked.

"When you set those expectations at the very beginning of the game," Zelda said, "it puts everybody on the same page. So we all know that this is probably going to be a world where we can all feel safe, we can all be gay as f--k."

They added that such guidelines should remain flexible, as players might uncover new sensitivities or triggers along the way.

For those looking for a TTRPG group who might find in-person events a little intimidating, Zelda suggests starting on Discord. Aki said she plays exclusively online because it's more accessible and that she specifically looks for forums tagged as 'queer-friendly'.

"I would hunt for queer people or queer-friendly groups," she said with a laugh, adding "Queer-friendly will always be at my table."

Wildwood's reputation as a GM draws players eager to bring their own "chaotic queerness" to the table.

"People with queer identities and neurodivergent identities are coming to my table because they know we have something in common and that I'll be able to handle those things with care."

And while GMs like Wildwood, Aki and Zelda consciously incorporate diversity into their non-player characters (NPCs), the players who join them also contribute unique aspects of their identities. The result is a game where queerness is seamlessly woven into the fabric of the narrative.

Want more gay? Go beyond D&D

With a long-standing history and a huge following, Dungeons & Dragons is arguably the most well-known TTRPG out there. But it certainly isn't the only one. 

"Like everybody, I started with D&D," Zelda said, "However, it just wasn't gay enough for me." 

Zelda suggests alternative games that are specifically queer-centric, which included Monsterhearts, Yazeba's Bed & Breakfast, Plant Girl Game, Glitter Hearts and Our Traveling Home. 

One they play often is Thirsty Sword Lesbians. "It's kind of canon that all of the characters are gay unless otherwise stated," they said. "It's just my favourite! I kind of take that idea and apply it to all of my games."

While Wildwood has GM'ed and played a number of different games, she highlighted Monsterhearts, stating, "Monsterhearts is specifically about the messy and monstrous ways that puberty hits us during high school. So, it's a game about teenagers, and it's a game about social power and where it comes from and how to use it."

Meanwhile, a popular choice for Aki was Pathfinder 2e. While its intricate rules can make it just as overwhelming as D&D, its expansive character creation process sets it apart, offering the opportunity to become literally anything one desires.

"It's like when you spend an hour or so trying to make your character look the way you want it to in a video game, that's what you're going to do," Aki said.

It's kind of canon that all of the characters are gay unless otherwise stated.- Bee Zelda

Not only do these games differ from D&D in both setting and history, but most of them follow another game system called Powered By the Apocalypse that focuses more on the roleplay aspect of the game rather than the combat, enabling more opportunities to explore your identity.

For those looking to support more queer game designers and creators, or to find out if their game is one you want to play in, there's a Reddit thread for everything.