'Why do I have to pay taxes?' complains man in public park who drove on roads from doctor's office

SCARBOROUGH, ON—Thom Bennington, a 47-year-old retail worker, just finished doing his taxes and is feeling annoyed.

He's spending the day in the park with his friends, who have the weekend off like he does, demanding to know why he even has to pay taxes.

• RELATED: Tax season! Galen Weston Jr. frantically searches through golden shoebox of bronzed receipts
• RELATED: The millennial's guide to taxes

"It's ridiculous, guys. Why am I paying for SCHOOLS?" said Bennington, making it extremely clear that he does not currently make use of the school system.

"It's so funny because, like, it works just like insurance. People who don't currently need help are paying for people who do currently need help," said Bennington, displaying a surprisingly cogent understanding of how our system is set up, but taking no time to explain why that system might be "funny."

"It's ridiculous!" Bennington continued raising his voice so as to be heard over the blaring siren of a taxpayer-funded fire truck. "Ugh. Dude! Keep it down! Trying to have a philosophical discussion over here."

"Anyway, as I was saying," said Bennington, taking one more bite of his egg and cheese sandwich, containing ingredients that had been inspected to meet federal standards before standing up, much to his friends' relief, to go take a drink of from the safe, filtered water fountain. "If I don't use 'em, I shouldn't have to pay for 'em."

At press time, Bennington was hopping on the streetcar after all his friends left.

Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook.