Trump announces anti-cyber-hacking team with Putin, anti-murdering team with Charles Manson
HAMBURG, GERMANY—Trump's got it all figured out.
If your people want you to solve a problem, go to the very people who are causing that problem and say you're going to work with them on it. That way, you know you won't solve it anyway, because it helped you get elected!
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In that spirit, the president announced today that he and Russian president Vladimir Putin would be looking into working together to prevent cyber-hacking of the exact sort that Putin and Russia almost certainly committed during the 2016 American presidential election.
Trump then announced further plans for an anti-murder effort with Charles Manson, an anti-kangaroo collaboration with Australia, anti-pyramid task force in conjunction with Egypt, and finally to join together with the South Pole to defeat penguins of all types.
"If you can't beat them—and a lot of people have said this phrase, but also I think in a way I am certainly to the first to say it in this way, or at the current time—join them, in my opinion," said Trump upon arriving home from the annual G20 Summit where he had linked up with leaders from many of these countries.
"Who knows more about cyber-hacking than Russia? Right? So they're the ones to ask. If they know about it, whether they were for it or against it really doesn't matter. What matters is they are definitely very closely connected to it."
At press time, Trump also declared a bold new anti–pyramid scheme venture with Bernie Madoff.
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