REPORT: Turns out it was a typo in 1882 – "Regina" was supposed to be "Vagina" this whole time
VAGINA, SK—In a horrible human error dating back over a hundred years, Canadian officials have confirmed that we have, in fact, had it wrong this whole time.
Cathy LaBelle, penmanship expert at the Centre for Wasted Canadian Tax Dollars confirmed yesterday that the ink of the fountain pen used to write "Vagina" into founding back in 1882 bled almost immediately into "Regina", causing what she calls "years of tasteless and frankly humourless jokes."
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The Heritage Board of Preservation of Details No One Cares About is insistent on reclaiming the city's honour by returning to its true historical name, while local Reginians are simply embarrassed and want to forget this discovery was ever made.
"I mean we've known it as Regina for so many years. Seems silly to go back now," Elk Butcher Shop owner Miranda Cobbs explained. "Rhyming with 'vagina' is one thing, but being Vagina? Just mortifying."
It's unclear yet whether the potential restoration of the city's name will now turn Reginians into Vaginians.
Historian Shelbert McSnooze offers, "We mustn't forget our true heritage. The founders who stole this land should be honoured. If Vagina is its original name, than Vagina ought to stay its name, and Vaginians we will be. This isn't a matter of women's reproductive organs but a matter of Canadian history."
Comedians country-wide are rejoicing, and in some cases demanding apologies for years of scolding. Jim Sumguy, a local amateur comedian who's never been paid to do his craft, agrees, "It was funny because it really was true."
Comic Natalie Landry added, "I've never made Regina/Vagina jokes before but I may start now. Hey, it's been a while since anything around here has been topical."
The news hasn't been encouraging for locals who fear it will bring more unwanted attention to the already struggling provincial capital. At the very least, it can finally be put to rest – "Vagina" does indeed rhyme with "Vagina".
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