REPORT: Pretty sure guy showed up at cottage with just a guitar

MUSKOKA, ON—Reports indicate that it looks like a cottage attendee, who everyone's pretty sure is named Chad, showed up at Bill's cottage last night with only his acoustic guitar.

"I swear I didn't see him bring any luggage," reports one cottager. "But I can't tell if that's the same Che Guevara shirt as yesterday or a different one."

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After spending most of the morning playing three chords in succession instead of contributing to breakfast, Chad—who went to college with Bill or something—has moved over to the fire pit, hoping others will join him.

Others reluctantly joined him later that night after both feeling sad for Chad, as well as realizing all the beer had migrated there.

During a short break in the conversation, Chad jumped at the chance to play a version of Oasis' Wonderwall that's "true to himself."

After an unprompted encore, many of the braver cottage attendees revealed they were "pretty tired" and went inside after complimenting Chad on his #Kony2012 bracelet.

Though he was uncharacteristically quiet when the conversation topic of employment came up, Chad was quick to talk about money being "a social construct" and insisted that he paid for his new iPhone with "sweet, sweet jams."

"Some say you need money and things like that to survive, but you don't," explains Chad. "You just need music."

Asked how he meets his basic needs, Chad says he survives mostly on instinct and a little bit on his father's vast fortune.

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