Pop-up H&R Block employees return to underground tombs for yearlong slumber

NATIONWIDE—With tax season drawing to a close this week, cities around Canada experienced what has now become a familiar sight, as the employees of countless H&R Block pop-up locations returned to their tombs until such time as they are called upon to walk the earth once more.

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"THE TAXES ARE DONE," bellowed the several hundred accountants staffing the tax preparation company's temporary locations, in unison, "AND OUR BARGAIN IS FULFILLED... FOR NOW"

Recently, a rare annual alignment of federal tax deadlines and the moon caused the legions of employees to claw their way up from the earth, funneling into the for-lease storefronts of major cities and erecting great temporary monuments to tax preparation. Since then they've worked tirelessly, sorting through forms and records so baffling and arcane they would drive a mortal man to madness, until at last their grim task concluded this week.

"You have brought us the taxes, and we are sated," said the green ball of light that emerges from a crack in the earth every February and just hovers there for three months. "Refunds have been bestowed upon the worthy, and the self-employed have been punished for their hubris. The circle is closed."

"DO NOT SUMMON H&R BLOCK AGAIN UNTIL THE T4S COME OUT NEXT YEAR!!!" added the sphere, before exploding in a shower of faded receipts.

As the employees seal themselves away in their ancient crypts, normalcy begins to return to our world. But the hollowed-out retail spaces, husks of the pop-up tax facilities that once stood, remain a macabre reminder that it is not over — that it is never over — and that if you haven't already you should be using a shoebox for everything. Because they will return.

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