Comedy·POTHEADS

Parents celebrate 20 years of pretending that's their kid's Harry Potter book

That’s right, it was 20 years ago this week that you bought your first Harry Potter book—for your kid, of course.
(Shutterstock / topnatthapon)

LITTLE WHINGING, UK—Wow, it's been 20 years! That's nothing you would know much about, of course, but your child, whose book that definitely is, must be pretty excited!

That's right, it was 20 years ago this week that you bought your first Harry Potter book—for your kid, of course—and since then it's been two decades of happy reading and re-reading.

Uh, for them.

You knew it would be a glorious ride the second you, I mean they, laid eyes on Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone—or something? If that's what it's called? You never remember, you just catch a glimpse when you see your kid reading it.

Yeah, definitely something like Philosopher's Stone, even though it was Sorcerer's Stone in North America of course, but you make sure to buy the original UK Bloomsbury Editions, two copies—one for reading and one for treasuring.

Hahahaha for your KIDS to treasure, I mean!

These are kids' books, what would YOU be doing reading them, what would their daring and captivating blend of fantastical adventure and down-to-earth drama and human stakes coupled with a complete mastery of tone ever mean to you, an ADULT!!!??

At press time, you were on your sixth read through the series, currently in the middle of Goblet of Fire, "which is really long, uggggh, but I guess if my kid wants me to read it each night, including after they go to bed, I guess that's fine, I mean I guess it's wonderful and spellbinding and the book where Ron, Hermione, and Harry finally left their childhood behind for good, to move on to a new challenging but noble duty that would culminate in no I don't know why I'm crying, why are YOU crying?"

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