O'Leary drops out of leadership race due to lack of support in Quebec, rest of Canada

OTTAWA, ON—Kevin O'Leary, Boston-based candidate who had been running for the leadership of the federal Progressive Conservative party has dropped out of the race.

O'Leary says he realized he was unlikely to win because he'd been unable to gain popularity in Quebec, not to mention the other nine provinces and three territories.

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Reached via Skype, O'Leary said, "I know I'm not 'Mr. Nice Guy. I'm not for everyone. I thought I might be for someone. But no, apparently this mug of mine doesn't inspire love from the masses," before leaning into toward the camera to emphasize his face in a way that one reporter described as 'Busey-esque.'

"People haven't really found me too 'personally appealing' throughout my life, including as a television personality and in business," said O'Leary, adjusting his webcam.

"But I guess I just thought I could suddenly gain massive swells of support across the country as the leader of a party that lost 60 seats in the last election. But I suppose I don't always have the best judgment."

"Maybe that's one of the reasons people don't seem to like me!"

At press time, O'Leary was looking into running for governor of Massachusetts for a couple weeks, just to insult the current guy and then leave when he couldn't even get his own block to support him.

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