"No problem!" declares denim-clad man about to go skiing for first time in 15 years
WHISTLER, B.C.—Under bright blue skies, Dale Tilley, 38, left Vancouver early this morning on his way to the snowy slopes of the world famous Whistler Mountain Ski Resort. Despite the fact that it's been a decade since Tilley participated in the difficult sport and its unyielding conditions, the self-described "child of the mountains" claims he is "once a skier, always a skier."
Peering out the car window as he streaked up the Sea-To-Sky highway, a ruddy-faced and visibly tired Tilley admired the "killer view" from the middle spot in the backseat of his rideshare, making sure to add that "it'll be even sweeter up on that chairlift, buddy."
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As he approached the historic mountain's base, Tilley grinned as he pointed out vaguely familiar sights, undaunted by the sinister clouds forming around the ominous peaks above. "That's 'Eagle Chair' right there. Great runs. Totally nitro," he recalled incorrectly as he gestured toward the 'Wizard Express High-Speed Quad', a chairlift he had trouble dismounting even in his prime.
While getting dressed in the parking lot, Dale barely missed a beat after blowing the gusset clean out of the badly undersized ski pants that dated back to his college days in the '90s. He then shrugged and happily stepped right back into the pair of Levis that were already damp with sweat due to the close confines of the two-hour drive. "It's no problem, we used to do this all the time. Hell, in the spring I would sometimes whip my shirt off on those runs," Tilley reminisced.
"I doubt I'll even feel it once I get my legs juiced," he boasted to the ski shop clerk who suggested that some rental pants might mitigate the strong windchill and blowing snow expected for the afternoon. Tilley further told the ski technician that he was "not even worried" about the badly corroded edges of the 200 cm Rossignols that he purchased heavily used in 1998. "The rust just rubs right off after a few good turns because the metal heats up," Tilley explained.
"That should clear up by lunch, then we can get a bit torched on the patio," Tilley assured a stranger while donning his yellow fleece jester hat in the face of the oncoming whiteout blizzard. "Gonna be a beauty day!" he cried as he pushed off towards the lift, his poling motions gently raising the bottom of his jacket above the waistline of his jeans and exposing a thin ribbon of pink flesh to the elements.
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