Newly-minted millionaire immediately blows it all on monocles

WATERLOO, ON—For most, achieving financial independence takes decades of working hard, careful saving and investment. All it took for Jeremy Bronson was coming up with a hot smartphone app. While working toward a degree in computer science at the University of Waterloo, the 20-year-old designed Text-Bark-Meow. The app purports to "translate" text into audible barks or meows (and vice versa), allowing users to "communicate" with their pets. It may be just a silly novelty, but it's been downloaded more than 150 million times since it was launched six months ago. 

Barely old enough to buy a beer, Bronson found himself with a windfall of $50 million virtually overnight. But as lottery winners and pop stars alike can attest, sudden wealth can be overwhelming, and can lead to severe money mismanagement.

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"The first thing I should've done was hire a financial planner," Bronson says. "But instead I bought about 10,000 monocles."

"The monocle, a required accessory of wealthy gentleman past and present, is a single eyeglass lens encased in a frame made from the finest metals and is often decorated with precious gems," explains Melissa Gardner, optical historian and author of the book Make Mine Monocle: A History of Single-Lens Eyewear From the Gilded Age to the Information Age. "It was popularized in the late 19th century by tycoons such as Andrew Carnegie, J.P. Morgan, and H. Dollarly Monocle, a one-eyed railroad magnate who commissioned a Parisian optometrist in 1881 to custom make what he called "glasses, but just the one."

The only silver lining—oh, a silver monocle would be great—sorry, what?- Jeremy Bronson

Because he was "a rich guy," Bronson figured he ought to buy a monocle. He was so new at being rich, however, that he didn't know when to stop. He kept buying more and more monocles. Within a matter of days, the entirety of his fortune, all $40 million of it, was gone. And all he had to show for it was monocles.

"Golden, bronze, platinum, ceramic, titanium, stone monocles," Bronson laments. "Diamond-encrusted, ruby-studded, covered in moon rocks. I wanted them all."

Perhaps the saddest part of his story is that Bronson has perfect 20/20 version in both eyes.

"The only silver lining—oh, a silver monocle would be great—sorry, what?" Bronson said, getting distracted. "Right. I did plan for the future. I left aside just enough so that if I ever have a kid they're set for life. By which I mean I left them enough to buy exactly one monocle."

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