New 'Spiderman' film to feature villain who reboots franchise halfway through movie

LOS ANGELES, CA—Hollywood's reboot culture seems to have reached its apex according to many, but according to the producers of the upcoming Spiderman: Homecoming, you haven't seen anything yet. The film, due for release in the summer of 2017, will focus on the erstwhile Peter Parker battling a protagonist who is attempting to scrap the film of which he is a part, and reboot the series with a film coming out next month.

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"We are excited to see Spiderman battling for his own film's relevance amid the shortening attention span of viewers," said one of the film's producers, Kevin Feige of Marvel Studios. "After Tobey Maguire's last film in 2007, we rebooted the franchise in 2012 with Andrew Garfield. People thought that was ridiculously soon, but that's nothing now. We're really going to push the boundaries with this film."

"The idea that you would allow a film's entire runtime to go by before you end the franchise and reboot it to satisfy the film audience's changing tastes is just an out-of-date notion," said Feige. "With Twitter, Facebook, and whatever new technology will have been invented by the time I finish this sentence but didn't exist when I started it, people aren't happy with slow progress. We don't wait for the morning newspaper to find out what happened that day anymore. I don't know why we should wait a year, or even until the end of the film to find out that we've discovered a new, better approach, a new, younger actor, and a new, more merchandisable costume."

At press time, this reporter wanted to tell you that halfway through this article Warner Brothers tried to pressure us to switch to the topic of Batman, Superman, and DC Comics instead, but we resisted almost as long as we cSUPERMAN IS GREAT CATCH HIM THIS FALL IN THE JUSTICE LEAGUE.

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