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Insecure man wary of ice cold glass of water girlfriend seems to be enjoying so much

“Sometimes I’m just a little wary of what she’s up to,” Teroni explains. “I know we’re exclusive, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s still looking around at other options.”
James Hartnett · CBC Comedy ·
(Shutterstock / Iakov Filimonov)

BRAMPTON, ON—Barry Teroni, 26, and Angie Lin, 23, have been together for nearly two and a half years. Despite their firm commitment to each other, Teroni still struggles to trust Lin's motives and feelings.

"Sometimes I'm just a little wary of what she's up to," Teroni explains. "I know we're exclusive, but I can't help but wonder if she's still looking around at other options."

From Lin's perspective, Teroni's behavior is becoming tiresome.

"He's so insecure," she sighs. "It's getting to be a bit much."

Teroni's jealousy seemed to reach a peak two Fridays ago, when the couple was dining in downtown Brampton.

"It was the Endless Shrimp promotion, so Angie and I thought we should do Red Lobster," Teroni recalls. "But I couldn't enjoy the meal, because she was totally being weird at the table. Like, something was blatantly up."

Teroni says he started to become uncomfortable after the couple was given glasses of water.

"So the waiter brings us our waters. Fine, right? No big deal," Teroni explains. "But Angie grabs the water and has this big, long sip. And then, no joke, she goes, 'I really needed that.'"

"Yeah, I was parched," sighed Lin. "Boy oh boy. I have to end this relationship, don't I?"

"Anyway, from my perspective it's just like, what is up with her and this ice cold glass of water? You know?" Teroni muses. "I'm not saying anything's going on with them, but she REALLY wanted that water. It was practically like she needed it to satisfy some basic bodily function. I had alarm bells going off big time."

Lin says she has already texted Barry saying she thinks they "need to talk."

"And the crazy thing is," Teroni adds, "I haven't even gotten to the way she was looking at her bun."

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

James Hartnett

James is a comedian, writer and actor from Toronto. He’s written for This Hour Has 22 Minutes (CBC), This is That (CBC), Because News (CBC) and The National Post. James has appeared on shows like Spun Out (CTV), That’s So Weird (YTV), Funny As Hell (HBO Canada), Cupcake and Dinosaur (Netflix) and Kody Kapow (Sprout). He’s had comedy shorts featured on Tosh.0 (Comedy Central), and he’s performed at Just For Laughs, Sled Island (Calgary) and San Francisco Sketchfest.