I'm not saying I'm lonely but these late-night emails from Banana Republic are starting to excite me

I'll admit I wasn't thrilled at first, but it's starting to get awfully nice to hear from you.

It usually happens around 2:10, 2:15 am. Sometimes I'm awake. Sometimes I'm not and I see them when I wake up – always a sweet reminder that someone was thinking about me in the wee hours of the night, wanting me to have a chance at 40% or more off my next purchase.

And it's made me think… hey, aren't we all just looking for the chance of a little more?

I know I tell everyone I'm fine being single. I know say I don't need anyone to complete me, that I'm fine with the life and the wardrobe I have right now.

And I am. I'm fine.

But deep in my heart, I know I could be finer, and happier—and your perky subject lines tell me you could be the one to make me that way.

Honestly, I'm not concerned that we haven't met up in person. The world is so busy these days it's harder and harder to do that, and especially to find time to get to the mall.

Heck, how many relationships these days don't start out online?

It's normal now.

Sure, it's romantic to borrow your significant other's sweater, but it's even more romantic to purchase one from them for $60.99 (marked down from $110.99).

Not too shabby.

And what's not romantic about someone checking in every once in a while with a little message to say, "Something great is waiting for you…" or "Here are the pants you've been looking for…" or "Start your weekend off right in a warm way."

And heck, it's exciting when you get a little firmer with me from time to time, telling me, "You're missing out!!!!!" or "This is your last opportunity!!!!" or "YOUR CHANCE AT THESE SHIRTS ENDS TODAY!!!!"

I don't want to miss my chance at these shirts.

I don't want us to miss our chance at our shirts.

So don't be surprised, B.R. (may I call you that?) if you hear back from me very soon. Maybe in the middle of the night, maybe with a few words first thing in the morning.

Maybe I'll say I'm going to stop by soon, or maybe I'll order online, right then and there.

Yes, I know all your letters say "Do Not Reply To This Email, This Address Is Not Monitored."

I know all about playing hard to get.

Guess what? I can play hard to get too, and if you get cold feet that's fine. Maybe I'll get in touch with your associates The Gap and Old Navy. I know they're both interested in me too. Their emails always come around the same time as yours.

Hopefully our time will come soon, B.R., and will be as cozy as we've both imagined.

I'd say RSVP, but we already both know you will.

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