Guy who transports Stanley Cup admits he has no idea where he left it
PITTSBURGH, PA—With the championship series of the Stanley Cup finals underway, the official custodian of the 128-year-old trophy has admitted he has no idea where he left the trophy.
"Like all hockey fans, I'm hoping for some great, competitive hockey between the Penguins and Predators," said Ryan Maynard, the official keeper of the Stanley Cup. "But hopefully more competitive than usual. This thing needs to go at least 5-6 games if they want the Cup to be there at the end."
- RELATED: Hockey playoffs now so long, will overlap with following season
- RELATED: NHL to keep professionals home from Olympics, send Vancouver Canucks instead
- RELATED: Innovative hockey coach just taking it two games at a time
"Seriously. I know it's a reach, but if the players could do their best to get it to a Game 7, that would really be ideal," he added. "I need all the time I can get."
Maynard, who has been responsible for the Stanley Cup's official travel for 27 years, first became aware of the trophy's disappearance when he arrived in Pittsburgh for Game 1.
"Naturally, I was pretty excited for the Cup finals because this is when I get to be on TV," he explained. "I went to the arena in my best suit, got all ready, but the case was completely empty when I opened it."
"In retrospect, I should have checked it before I flew out," Maynard added, resting his white-gloved hands on his hips in frustration.
When reached for comment, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman expressed "disappointment" in the long-time custodian and encouraged him to "retrace his steps".
"I find that usually helps when I've misplaced something," said Bettman. "I lost a pen once in 2013 when I was negotiating the NHLPA Collective Bargaining Agreement. Really nice pen, too. I couldn't focus the whole day with it gone."
"But I retraced my steps and found it on the floor of my executive suite bathroom," Bettman added. "That said, I imagine it's much easier to lose a small pen than a giant, silver trophy."
At press time, Maynard was trying in vain to recount his most recent appearances with the Cup to jog his memory, but could only vaguely remember taking it to Finland over the summer with Penguins defenseman Olli Määttä, and another instance where he used the chalice as a Jell-O mould at a family reunion last month. He admits to having been "pretty drunk" on both occasions.
In the meantime, Maynard has offered a small reward to any information leading to the trophy's safe return.
"It's about four feet tall, 35-40 pounds, made of silver, and has a bunch of hockey stuff written on it," he said while calling on the public for help. "If you see it, please call the NHL."
"For real, I could lose my job over this," he concluded.
Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook.