Funny Stuff

Wholesome creator of incognito browsing feature "really disappointed in all of us"

The atmosphere at Google’s headquarters near Palo Alto, California is generally upbeat, but one employee hasn’t been able to shake off a bad feeling for quite some time.
(Shutterstock / Africa Studio)

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The atmosphere at Google's headquarters near Palo Alto, California is generally upbeat, but one employee hasn't been able to shake off a bad feeling for quite some time.

"I'm not mad. Truly, I'm not mad," says developer Bryan Dolak. "I'm just... disappointed."

Dolak was part of the development team that made Google's web browser, Chrome, in 2008. Specifically, Dolak was the man who created the "incognito browsing" feature.

Incognito browsing allows a user to search the internet without anything being recorded in his or her web history, search history, or cookie cache.

"I created incognito browsing for many reasons," explains Dolak. "Like what if you need to check your email at a library? Or do online banking at an internet café? Or what if you're planning a surprise trip for your family on your shared computer, and you don't want them to find out? Those kinds of things."

Dolak, widely considered a very pure and wholesome guy by friends and colleagues, immediately felt something was very wrong as soon as the user data started to pour in.

"I thought there must have been some mistake," recalls Dolak. "The feature was incredibly popular, but hardly anyone was using it like I expected."

Soon, the reality of the situation became clear to the developer.

"I was very surprised," says Dolak, shaking his head. "I figured that a few weirdos might want their history to go unrecorded for unseemly reasons. Maybe the odd drifter or creepy old man might use it that way. But our data shows that looking up rude stuff is the only reason anyone has ever used this feature. Like I mean literally the only reason. One guy checked his email on that setting once in 2012, but I think it was a mistake."

While this has been a difficult experience for Dolak, there has been one upside.

"Most 15-year-old boys will high five me when they see me on the street," shrugs Dolak. "I guess that's something."

Speaking of computer security... make sure your security questions aren't too easy to guess:

Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook.