What do you MEAN a beauty magazine that exists to make women feel bad didn't honour women properly?!

Hello, it's me: a woman. An outraged one! Yesterday, while I was out at my Botox consult because Glamour magazine told me it was one of the Fresh Flirty Fall Essentials For Women Over 9, a horrific thing happened: that same magazine named Bono as its 2016 Woman of the Year. Yes, that Bono! The extremely male lead singer of U2!

Frankly, this announcement is a smack in the gross, aging faces of women everywhere. Was Glamour magazine somehow not able to find a woman worthy of this award?! Seriously, I demand to know. Give me 10 Reasons Why He'll Never Text You Back If You Don't Spend $412 On This Particular Brand Of Dry Shampoo.

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This announcement hurts more than those compulsive abdominal exercises Glamour magazine told me to do during my job interview last week. Up until yesterday, I thought a new era of gender equality was right around the corner. You know, the same place beach body season always hangs out, according to page 12, 14, 35, 88, 89, 125, 138, 266, and 303 of the November issue! I guess I was wrong. Men are still taking our awards, our accolades, and too many of our spaces. This is unacceptable, and no amount of $78 Must-Have Mascara in Bedroom Black is going to make me feel better.

Glamour, over the years you've given me so many hot sex tips centered entirely around male pleasure, so let me return the favour and offer you a tip: your Woman Of the Year needs to be a woman. This is important. It's a pretty big deal. Not quite as pretty and big as the "plus-sized" models on your pages who are all Size 6 at most, but you know what I mean.

Are you going to publically address your terrible lapse in judgment? I sure hope so. If you need some help I found #7 really helpful in your latest story, 978 Ways To Apologize For The Fact That You Failed To Pair Your Beaded Halter Top With A Cute Structured Blazer For An Effortless Daytime Look.

You need to do better, Glamour. Just like you tell women every single day.

What is it with musicians winning awards they are in no way qualified for?

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