Trump refuses to accept results of "Which Friends Character Are You?" quiz

WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to reports, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump expressly refused yesterday to accept the outcome of a "Which Friends Character Are You?" quiz that he had taken on Facebook, and denied its legitimacy.

"Monica??" said Trump when reached, still pacing around his laptop. "Believe me: I'm no Monica. If there's one person who should get Monica, it's… well, we all know I'm talking about. I'm not gonna say it. But she's a very nasty woman. Hillary is who I'm talking about."

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An unnamed source (though campaign officials have denied this) also claimed that Trump repeated the test several times in an attempt to get his preferred result of Chandler. "You could hear him each time, just incredulous. 'Again?? I'm the funny one. People like to be around me. I'm not obnoxious. I'm not annoying. I'm like Chandler.'" Besides Monica, Trump was rumoured to be most infuriated by the thought of being 'failed daytime actor' Joey Tribbiani.

Trump says he would have been more than happy to accept the result of the quiz — if it had been fair.

"It was rigged, honestly, like you wouldn't believe. Question 5, it asked your dream profession. It says I clicked chef; I did not click chef. I did not say that; it was not said," Trump vowed. "I remember it very well. I also — and this is actually important — I did not click paleontologist. Believe me, nobody wants to get Ross. You get Ross, you're done. That would be an incredible disaster. What kind of doctor has time to sit around in coffee shops all day, moping? Very low-energy paleontologist."

The GOP nominee blamed his frustration partly on a lack of transparency, including a list of all possible outcomes that he complains was not made available to him. "I don't know if Tom Selleck was a possible result, a lot people have been saying you could get him, they've been telling me — and I would not have minded getting Tom Selleck, believe me, you could do a lot worse. Monica was very wrong to leave Richard, it really was a disgrace."

Trump went on to describe Chandler as "the life of the party, a tremendous guy, honestly could I be ANY more LIKE Chandler?"

The interview abruptly ended after it was pointed out to Trump that Chandler ended up with Monica.

Be careful with quizzes:

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