Transphobic U of T prof opposes the evolution of language so we made him write this op-ed in Middle English

All gaether rounde, und lette me telle untæ you a tayle.

Forsooth, I hathe been persecuted, to be shoure!

Yea, and it be mine contention that our language, blessede and sæcrede as it be, must not be fourced into change by mere circumstance, or a parson's prefference. 

Foure you I hathe an exæmple, so ye gette itte.

Mine blacksmithe, should he insist I call him mine bāker, shulde I treat this as royale decree to whyche I muste oblige? Næ.

If smithe my black hæ doue, then blacksmithe schael he be caulled, and verilye muste he agrëe anon.

I am notte a badman. I am notte a mæn whoue is intoughlerante.

I am simplye a mæn whoue believes thatte language, whoon it haes been dessieded-upon, shoulde notte be changede hæstely.

If my wyf dæcides, aul of a suddene-and-soune, that she is nouwe to be addressed in the waye of moultiple pæple, shourely must I declyne. The facte thatte I am in nō weighe inconvenienced by thus doinge, and itte woulde breinge unto her joie and sætisfactionne, is notte the poïnte of the mattre. Tou me.

Nouwe wille I signe offe, but wyth this pointe shalle læve ye: lette never any manne change thine mode of spæche, and in thisse way whatte ye meane, and moreso whoue ye arre, shalle alwayes be complëetlie und bæste understoode.

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