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Toronto man has apparently opened trendy nail salon on public transit

From poop-themed cafes to restaurants where blind wait staff serve patrons meals in pitch darkness, it's hard to tell nowadays what qualifies as “trendy” and what is just a streak of madness disguised as creativity.

TORONTO, ON—From poop-themed cafes to restaurants where blind wait staff serve patrons meals in pitch darkness, it's hard to tell nowadays what qualifies as "trendy" and what is just a streak of madness disguised as creativity. Local entrepreneur Ivan Fogsplart was tempted by the fame and fortune when he opened "The Single File", a nail salon that operates 24/7 on the Queen streetcar line.

"I would always cut my nails on the streetcar on my way to the pond every day," mumbled Fogsplart, while picking his nose. "And then one day I looked across the streetcar and saw a handsome, handsome man sleeping. When I gave his hands a peek I noticed that there was some gunk under his index fingernail I could use for a project. That's when it clicked that I could bring a service I enjoy to the masses." 

Fogsplart opened his flagship salon to mixed reviews. It seems that the customer base he was trying to attract was more than happy just going to Dufferin Mall to get their nails done while disgusted bystanders covered their younglings' eyes. Furthermore, most of the customers who were on board with his idea were already huddled in the back of the streetcar by themselves, clipping away at their own gnarled bone matter.

"It's an unsettling and totally thing gross to do in public. Who are these people that they can't find five seconds during the day to groom themselves?" said one disgruntled passenger, angrily dusting errant clippings off of her stupid little Chihuahua. Upon approach, another transit user was less reserved when asked about The Single File, exclaiming that he "was awoken by the faint noise of chattering teeth only to realize that my cuticles had been removed entirely!"

"I would be lying if I said this wasn't an uphill battle. I didn't initially recognize the difficulty involved in going up against all these other beautiful salons that don't operate behind constantly revolving doors," Fogsplart noted. When asked if he had advice for other entrepreneurs in the city, he spoke from the heart:

"Do what you love and then try to scare people into loving it as well."

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