Taco Bell merges entire menu into one item with all-new Quesaluparitonachosacoititailla Supreme
IRVINE, CA—Taco Bell has gone nuclear.
For the past couple of years Taco Bell has been testing the waters with Frankenstein menu items such as the Quesarito and Quesalupa.
The products sold well and now the company says it's ready to take things to the next level.
"Fuck it," says Frank Milahuer, a company executive. "It's clear that our customers don't respect themselves, so why should we? What kind of grown man can look another human being in the eyes and say the word 'Quesarito'? I hate saying it and I invented it."
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As it turns out, the "next level" is one ultimate item that combines the contents of the entire Taco Bell menu. They're calling it the Quesaluparitonachosacoititailla.
"They like combination items so much?" Milahuer says with disgust. "Then so be it. We'll chop the whole menu up and throw it in a tortilla bowl. Most of the menu items have the same ingredients anyway. It's all beans and cheese and shit. We'll even chop up a tortilla bowl and put it in the tortilla bowl. Who cares?"
If the nation embraces this new "Mexi-cornucopia," Milahuer may push things even further in this direction.
"Maybe soon we'll just throw everything into a giant vat in the middle of the restaurant and for $10 you can scoop out as much as you want."
Select Taco Bell locations have already started selling the Quesaluparitonachosacoititailla and so far, the people are loving it.
"The line-ups have been out the door. Partially because people love the idea. Partially because it takes a really long time to say Quesaluparitonachosacoititailla."
If you prefer your food not-gross:
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