How to sit through a hockey game (when you don't like hockey)

It's Canada's favourite sport and one of the countries claims to fame! Everyone loves hockey, right? Wrong! There are many people around the world (especially in Canada) who do not care for the game, yet are ridiculed and picked on for their lack of enthusiasm for the sport. This witch-hunt has seen thousands bullied for years, even having their patriotism questioned! Fear not! If you have to go, then here are some ways to sit through a hockey game when you don't like hockey.

Make it a deadly game!

PRETEND every player is playing a deadly game of fight to the death! Give them backstories and think up a complicated plot a la Game of Thrones. Root for your favourite! Only one shall be victorious!

Play Truth or Dare!

Find a man in full body paint to play this with (every hockey game has one). Go big with the dares because there's a lot going on in a game. In the event you look like a dummy, fear not - you won't look as stupid as the guy in full body paint at a freezing arena!

Make an escape plan

Look around and try to figure out how you would get out of the arena if it were taken over by terrorists all of a sudden. If this was a Die Hard situation, figure out how you would John McClane the arena. This also works for school assemblies and church.

Go to the bathroom

Frequent trips to the bathroom are time consuming and a great way to get on your feet and get some exercise. Even if you don't have to go, just sit in the stall and daydream about all the other cool things you could be doing. You've done this at work before, so same rules apply.

Teach a lesson!

Buy the opposing teams jersey, put it on your grandma and sit in the home team's section. Just watch the anger and rage build up in the audience around you. No one is going to hurt old Grandma, instead they will be forced to learn understanding and compassion. They'll thank you for it later!

Be the DJ!

Cut that game short by taking over the DJ booth! Switch their Gary Glitter and Black Eyed Peas for Gangnam Style or The Macarena. Blast those songs on repeat and you will have that game ending in a hurry. No one wants to sit through that. 

Even if you don't like the sport you can still go and give it 110%, get pucks in deep, bang away at the boards, chipping goals into the net and tickling the ref or whatever else they say. Just make sure you root for the team whose section you are in.