Everyone still waiting for Greg to dive into the lake

LAKE WESLEMKOON, ON—Friends and family gathered on Aunt Diane's dock have confirmed that cottage goer Greg Drumbowski has yet to just dive into the goddamn lake already. It all started with such promise; Drumbowski spent much of the drive up loudly proclaiming to his wife Carol that he "couldn't wait to get in that water," while advising his twin daughters they had "nothing to be afraid of." Upon arrival he promptly suited up, marched to the lake, and took up a position on the dock's diving platform.

That was ten days ago.

Since then, Drumbowski has been gazing at the water while others, including his own children, have repeatedly gone swimming, remarking meekly on several occasions that the lake "looks pretty cold."

Reports that the water in question is anywhere from "brisk" to "refreshing" have had no effect on the 45-year-old and repeated squawking noises and references to him being a "chicken of the sea" have left him both figuratively and literally unmoved

"I don't actually care of he swims or not," said Aunt Diane, 'but he's got to make a move either way here."

Other's were less even-keeled in their assessment.

"He's a acting like a total pussy," said Cousin Ray, "Just fucking do it man." 

In the distance Drumbowski could be overheard asking his wife "Is that a leech? It looks like a leech."

The "leech" in question has since been verified to have been a small strip of bark.

However it shakes down, Drumbowski will have to make a decision soon, as Shane, Debbie and the kids have the cottage booked starting this weekend.