Funny Stuff·OP-ED

80% of my office wanted to order pizza, but we ended up with Arby's because of the Electoral College system?

Most people were in the mood for Italian and Darren had dropped the whole vegan thing, so the overwhelming consensus was that we would get pizza. But somehow we ended up with Arby’s, because I guess that’s how the Electoral College works?
(Shutterstock / wavebreakmedia)

CONCORD, NH—Oh, great.

So we're ordering lunch at the office, right? Just like every Tuesday. It usually takes a bit of work to satisfy everybody's desires and dietary requirements. But that day it was shaping up to be so simple. Most people were in the mood for Italian and Darren had dropped the whole vegan thing, so the overwhelming consensus was that we would get pizza. But somehow we ended up with Arby's, because I guess that's how the Electoral College works?

I'm not totally sure. All I knew was that everybody seemed to be really into the pizza thing from what I was hearing around the office. Even Darren wasn't doing the whole vegan thing anymore, so he was on board. So it was settled.

And now I'm sitting here eating a roast beef sandwich with Horsey Sauce?

I'm sure we'll all deal with it. I'm sure we'll manage. But it doesn't really make sense. Did the business department get more of a say? Were they pushy? I mean, they're pushy guys. But if just about everyone wanted pizza, how come now that the smoke has cleared, I'm left here holding something that I think is called a "Pepperjack Philly Cheesesteak Meat Lover's Slider"??

If it's for meat lovers, why do they go on so much about the cheese???

If most of us wanted a tasty Italian treat, why are all of our desks covered with food of no discernible national origin?

If almost all of us wanted something and it would have, in the end, been better for most of the people who didn't choose it too, why don't we have it?

Well, damnit. It's going to be quite a long four years.

You can't always get what you want:

Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook.