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5 famous Canadians reveal their most brutal rejection letters

Did you know that many famous and beloved Canadians faced discouragement on the road to success? We got our hands on five of their most scathing and surprising rejection letters. Bet the dorks who wrote these are kicking themselves now, unless they’re dead!
Joel Buxton · CBC Comedy ·

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." –Butthead of Beavis and Butthead

Did you know that many famous and beloved Canadians faced discouragement on the road to success? We got our hands on five of their most scathing and surprising rejection letters. Bet the dorks who wrote these are kicking themselves now, unless they're dead!

1. Bryan Adams

Dear Mr. Adams,

Thank you for your demo of the song Summer of '69. Unfortunately it is not a fit for our record label Fun Nostalgic Songs. In terms of improvement, may we suggest:

  • The years 1972-75 might be a better choice, as those were great summers too
  • There's a part where you say "Ooooh yeah!" We suggest changing it to "Uh huhhhhh!"
  • Steel drums. Just a thought.

Also please consider turning down the volume of your guitar, lest you accidentally wake up the neighbours.

Best,

Jeremy Pogley

2. Tom Thomson

Dear Mr. Thomson,

We have reviewed your painting "The Jack Pine," and regret to inform you that it is not up to the standards of the Collective of Realistic Art Photographers (CRAP).

Unfortunately we found that when we stood back from the piece it looks a bit like a jack pine, but the closer you get, the more it looks like just a bunch of gross blobs. No offense, but it's called "using a smaller brush."

May we suggest you apply to the Group of Six. They seem like they're more on your level.

Warmest regards,

Arthur Murale

3. James Naismith

Hi James,

We went over the outline of your new sport "basketball," and honestly, the rules are confusing, the ball is HUGE, and slam dunks are impossible if you're short (I am SO little. My wife can't find me at concerts.) The only thing we liked was the sleeveless shirts. It's nice to let your body breathe, you know? Anyway, the rest of your game is garbage. Hard pass. DO NOT steal that last term and use it in your dumb game.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya,

Glenn Ottnick

4. Roch Carrier

Dear Mr. Carrier,

We recently reviewed your submission, The Hockey Sweater, and God does it stink. The kid seems like a little nerd, and he spends all his time whining about a sweater?? When I was a kid I had to wear a blouse!

Why don't you write a book that people would actually want to read, like maybe one about a lizard-boy or a talking tugboat?

Au revoir forever,

Sidney Horton

5. Pierre Trudeau

Dear Mr. Trudeau and co.,

You unbelievable wankers. We received your nation-building effort entitled the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and it is with great glee that I enumerate the reasons why it's a flaming bowl of trash:

  • Too long and boring
  • No good characters
  • Feels a bit like you're trying to break away from the UK????????

Thanks for nothing, you ghastly crumbs,

Queen Elizabeth II