3 awesome extreme vacations we're legally obligated to remind you that you engage in at your own risk
Bored of namby-pamby beaches? Think the Eiffel Tower is lame and the Amalfi Coast is for huge pussies? Looking to absolutely crush your time away from work?
Shove a Red Bull up your next holiday's ass with these awesome extreme getaways that you hereby agree to undertake voluntarily and of your own free will, legally absolving us from any and all liability in the likelihood of personal injury or death.
Fly a Russian MiG ground attack aircraft
Ever wanted to be the non-Val Kilmer bad guy from Top Gun? Well, for the totally-worth-it price of just $15,000, travel company Mortal Tours will fly you to the Kazneets airstrip near the Mongolian border where, with little to no preparation, you'll soon find yourself doing barrel rolls in a decommissioned MiG 29 flown by a disgraced former Russian air force pilot!
The best part? Slip him a few extra bucks once you're up there, and he'll let you take over the controls! Hell, he'll insist on it. So set a course at maximum warp for the big blue yonder, and remember that by reading this you hereafter indemnify us from legal responsibility for what may occur as a result of your unassailably cool actions!
Ski into an active volcano
Turns out there's more to Japan's mystical Hokkaido Island than child abandonment. How much more? Volcanoes more! Now, courtesy of Seppuku Holidays, alpine thrill seekers looking to slap a ball-gag on common sense can ski straight into one of these smoldering pits of lava and radicalness anytime they want.
Pristine powder? Check!
Nature at its most powerful and unstable? Check!
I agree to waive and release the CBC, its employees, officers and directors from all losses costs, claims and damages related to this excursion. Check: □
A week in the favelas of Rio
For the anti-all inclusive crowd looking to grab life by the balls while saving a buck, try this super sick urban getaway courtesy of Risco De Vida Travel. For $2,500 Canadian a week (not including airfare) adrenaline junkies can experience the crowding, unsanitary conditions, poor nutrition, pollution and disease of some of Rio de Janeiro's poorest slums.
Record high crime rates coupled with one of the lowest safety indexes on the planet mean you'll never have a dull moment as you evade muggers, and leap out the crossfire of warring gangs. All this and Zika virus? You bet your ass. Whatever you do, don't forget to bring plenty of Brazilian reals for tipping and ransoms!
And remember, you're undertaking this vacation of your own free will, and agree to hold harmless the author of this post, his employers heirs and issues from any event arising from undertaking the actions advocated above... so have fun!