Even Pope, Vatican residents find Trump's solid gold apartment 'a bit much'
VATICAN CITY—The Pope and other residents of the Vatican thought they lived in opulent, ostentatious, and slightly garish luxury.
But after Donald Trump's visit this week, they're thinking again.
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During a private conversation with the Pope, Trump apparently showed the leader of the world's Catholics a picture of his New York home, and even the Pope, draped in finery and sitting in a room surrounded by many gems and solid gold objects, said "wow, that's a bit extravagant, isn't it?"
Trump, who naturally had no interest in hearing the thoughts of a man who is, from time to time, deemed literally infallible, disagreed.
"Honestly no it's not," Trump explained. "Maybe in the picture it looks that way, I don't know, it's just saved on the phone here, I got my assistant to email it to my AOL. Maybe it doesn't look quite as good because you're seeing it through cyber, but it's actually tremendous. It's the only way to live."
"You're off to a good start here," Trump continued. "I see a real tawdry display of wealth, particularly given your rhetoric regarding helping the poor. I understand that contrast even more now that I've become president. But you could take the hypocrisy further. Trust me."
"Also you don't seem to have really made the most of every room. I was just using your toilet and it was very normal. Do you think my toilet is normal? No. Neither the appliance nor the paper. I'll start with this: it's definitely not paper."
At press time, Trump said he might want to come back to the Vatican sometime and stay in one of the golden beds with purple silk 100,000-threadcount sheets adorned with rubies, just to "get back to basics."
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