Due to storm chips shortage, Halifax woman forced to eat dill pickle flavour

HALIFAX, N.S.—Sandy Mackenzie, a Nova Scotia native living through the ongoing storm currently shutting down large portions of the Atlantic provinces, has reached a low point. She is struggling to go on after finding the potato chip aisle of her local Sobey's completely barren except for a few remaining bags of – shudder – dill pickle chips.

"I popped into the store during a let-up in the weather, hoping to get some sustenance. When I saw what I saw, I was… shocked. Of course I was hoping for All-Dressed or Barbecue, but I would have settled even for Regular. What I wasn't prepared for was… was something that… I mean let's be honest, this is something that can barely even be classified as food," Mackenzie explains.

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Offering a counterpoint to Mackenzie's view on the polarizing potato pick was Tyler Gallant, who spoke to us as he was loading every remaining bag into his cart. "Dill pickle is a great flavour. It might be the best flavour. I dunno how you can go wrong with a potato chip though. Every single one is good, because it's a potato chip. Hell, people even eat something called 'sour cream & onion.' They eat salt & vinegar chips that burn your tongue. Anyway, that woman is way off, in my opinion. But hey, more for me," he said, whilst taking more for him.

As Mackenzie walked to her car, holding one single bag of dill pickle flavour daintily by the corner like a soiled diaper, she was philosophical. "I said I was popping out for storm chips, so I'm coming home with storm chips. Maybe my roommate will eat them. I can leave the room. I mean then I'm still left with the issue of learning that I have a roommate who likes dill pickle chips, which is not something I am prepared to face. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'll eat some plain Triscuits in the meantime."

"Okay, I'll try one dill pickle chip," she continued. "ONE. Because what if this storm goes on for months? I'll have to develop a taste for them. I'm a strong woman who is prepared to make sacrifices."

At press time, Mackenzie was headed back into the store after realizing a powerful dip might be able to counteract the dill's effect somewhat. If dill pickle dip exists and ends up being all the remains in that section, she was prepared to burn down the store without a moment's thought.

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