APRIL FOOLS REMINDER: After 12 p.m., crime is illegal again

Nobody likes April Fools; April Fools, everybody loves it! But if you're prepping for some pranking this April 1st, don't forget: after 12 p.m., not only is the official prank period over, but all crime once again becomes illegal. So keep an eye on that clock!

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The noon deadline for April Fools jokes—and the end of the corresponding period in which every crime is non-punishable except through vigilantism—dates back to the holiday's origins all the way back in the 17th century. So if you're gonna Fools, respect the rules! Also respect the rule of law, which comes back into effect after the tenth siren blast at exactly noon.

Sticking to a traditional April Fools schedule might seem a little trickier this year due to the fact that the date falls on a Saturday, depriving many of us of the chance to exact pranks, or any crime up to and including murder, on our oh-so-prankable coworkers. But look at it this way: if you're going out friday night and want to participate in April Fools, you can get started as early as midnight (if you don't want to participate, get off the streets and arm yourself)!

Some people say the 12 p.m. rule is just a cop-out enforced by people who don't want to get Fooled, and also the government and police. But remember, people who don't want to get Fooled already have the option of painting an "A" on their driveways to show passing Fool Gangs that they support April Fools!

While you're planning your pranks, painting your skull mask and staring obsessively at photo collages of people who have wronged you since last April, keep this in mind: you may not be able to control how people react to your April Fools jokes, and you may not be able to control the actions of your Fool Gang (unless you've really, really established yourself as the leader) but you CAN control The Animal Within, at least enough to sate its rage and lock it back up inside of you before lunchtime!

Above all, don't forget to have fun, don't forget to start wrapping up any crimes/pranks in progress at the first siren blast, and God bless April Fools, for freeing us from the jokes that fester in our souls, and allowing us to purge the pranks and japes from our hearts, amen.

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