7-year-old member of Girl Guides of Canada proudly earns anti-fascism badge

CAMP CHIPLAQUORGAN, NB—7-year-old Brownie Hannah Levinson reports today that she is "so so so so happy oh my gosh like so happy" to have earned the highly coveted anti-fascism badge alongside the rest of the girls in her group.

Girl Guides of Canada announced this week that it has suspended all future trips to the US in response to President Trump's Muslim travel ban, because under the ban, girls in the organization are not afforded an equal and inclusive travel experience. Girl Guide leaders worked with the Brownies to discuss the issue and help them understand it.

• RELATED: New, subtler Trump travel ban to replace 'Muslim' with 'you-know-who'
• RELATED: President Trump to trans kids of America: "Just pee on each other"

The girls were then awarded a variety of badges for their participation in the decision, including the Anti-Fascism badge, the Disregard Idiots badge, the Avoid Super Messed Up Countries badge and the Boring Racist Old Men badge.

"TAYLOR, MY FRIEND TAYLOR, SHE GOT, MY FRIEND TAYLOR, SHE GOT, TAYLOR GOT TAYLOR GOT TWO OF HER BADGES AND I GOT I GOT I GOT ONE BADGE," shrieked Levinson after the presentation of the badges as she jumped up and down repeatedly before exploding into a 20-minute coughing fit brought on by a far-too-rapidly-inhaled juice box.

Levinson's best friend, 7-year-old Taylor Hass explained, "It's like so sad when presidents are so afraid of Muslim people for no reason."

"Don't be afraid, little guy!!!!" Hass offered to President Trump in the kind of cloying baby voice one might use to address a shy newborn puppy.

"Last year I got my Face Your Fears badge because I slept all by myself in a tent for one night and it was so dark but I did it," Hass continued. "That president guy should think about working towards this badge because it's really not so hard."

At press time, the annoyingly short juice box straw had fallen into the dark void of Levinson's juice box for all eternity, leaving her no choice but to do that thing where you squeeze the sides of the box to access the remaining juice, inevitably causing it to gush forth in truly unreasonable quantities.

Don't miss anything from CBC Comedy - like us on Facebook.