Heather Graham on Chosen Family and her estranged relationship with her parents

17:53Heather Graham: Chosen Family and her estranged relationship with her parents

Early in her career, Heather Graham was advised by a publicist not to discuss her estrangement from her parents. For years, she didn't publicly talk about it in an effort to avoid backlash.

Now, the Boogie Nights actor is opening up about her family struggles with the release of her new romantic comedy, Chosen Family, which she wrote, directed and stars in. The film is about recognizing the people who hold you up in life while setting boundaries with those who don't.

"I did feel like I was on the receiving end of a guilt trip in my family," Graham tells Q's Tom Power. "I wasn't able to set boundaries and prioritize my own needs because I wasn't really taught how to do that. I was really taught how to be a people pleaser, caretaker [and] overly responsible person. How do you break that cycle? That's what I wanted to explore in the movie."

Chosen Family follows a yoga teacher named Ann (Graham) who's dealing with her manic family, a string of bad relationships and an inability to say no. Things start looking up after she meets a charming contractor named Steve (John Brotherton), who's raising his seven-year-old daughter while also going through a divorce.

While the film is fictional, Graham drew on many of her own experiences to write the story. "In my dating life, I would sometimes find myself in relationships with people that reminded me of my family," she says. "[I'd] find these dysfunctional dynamics in my relationships, even though I just thought, 'Well, I really don't want this.'"

She adds that "sometimes your friends can actually teach you more about family and love and unconditional love than your biological family."

Graham's decision to open up about her dysfunctional family dynamic came after seeing female stand-up comedians who were able to transform their vulnerability into humour.

"I do think that the culture is healing in the way that people are allowed to talk about things more now than we ever have been," she says. "It's more intimate to really be yourself and not try to pretend like, 'Oh my gosh, everything's always perfect in my life!' I admire people that are honest and open about their lives, and so I wanted to be that as well."

The full interview with Heather Graham is available on our podcast, Q with Tom Power. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

Interview with Heather Graham produced by Lise Hosein.