Elliot Page has never felt better

Here & Queer is an interview series hosted by Peter Knegt that celebrates and amplifies the work of LGBTQ artists through unfiltered conversations.

Elliot Page is in the midst of an extraordinary moment — both for himself and for all those who look to him as a beacon of light in an increasingly dark time for trans people. 

"I feel fortunate to say that I feel the most embodied and joyful and confident that I've ever felt and that I could have ever dreamed possible," Page says. "Now, that does come at a strange time, and I do feel nervous sometimes. I have had things happen. But right now, I'm just trying to focus on being myself and showing up in the ways that I can."

One of the ways Page has shown up is in his new memoir Pageboy, which was released earlier this month. An intimate, vulnerable depiction of Page's journey to finding himself as a trans man, it could not have come at a more necessary time.

Page stopped by Here & Queer to talk to host Peter Knegt about that journey, and how it has felt getting it onto the page and out into the world. You can watch the episode here:

The press tour of Pageboy has taken Page a long way from tours of the past, which he describes in detail in the book. Promoting his star-making turn in Juno, for example, was one of the darkest times of his life, largely because of how forced he felt into shoes (figurative and literal) that were far from his own. 

"[This] feels very, very different," Page says. "I have had moments where I have been reflecting on those past times and how I used to feel alone in the hotel rooms, and what a difference it is now."

What has changed much less, unfortunately, is the film and TV industry when it comes to queer and trans inclusion. 

"Hollywood is built on leveraging queerness," Page writes in his book. "Tucking it away when needed, pulling it out when beneficial, while patting themselves on the back. Hollywood doesn't lead the way, it responds, it follows, slowly and far behind." 

When asked whether he thinks this is evolving, Page says that while "he likes to be hopeful," he's not exactly holding his breath.

"Obviously things have changed since I first sort of entered that world and sphere, to a degree," he says. "It's not a lot of change, but there's definitely been some change. But it won't really change until the power structures shift, of course, which are not inclusive and do not reflect our world."

But one thing Page does now have control over changing is himself. At one point in the book, he discusses an altercation in Toronto where a man threw a beer at him and called him a slur.

"I think about that moment a lot — the anger that man felt entitled to display and my response to it," Page writes. "In our society anger and masculinity are so intertwined — I hope to redefine that in my own life. 

Expanding on that section of the book, Page explains that it means "not getting influenced to adopt or adapt certain behaviours that don't serve me or society on any level."

"The ripple effects that come with self-love have made me less angry, have made me expand more, have made me I think show up for people in better ways," he says. "And I feel such positivity coming from loving myself."

"I think trans, cis, straight, queer — we're all put in these boxes with toxic expectations informed by a society that wants to control who we are, who we can be, what we can look like, how we should act. And it doesn't serve anyone."

As Pageboy makes clear, those toxic expectations no longer stands a chance against Elliot Page. And we're all the better for it.

Pageboy is available for purchase wherever you buy books.